Free Full Moon by Rachel Hawthorne Page B

any worse. At that moment I truly appreciated that I’d always had Connor.
    Not that we were doing any talking or touching each other—inadvertently or otherwise. But at least we were acting comfortable around each other again.
    The girls weren’t talking much either. A couple of them looked as though they were going to drift off to sleep right where they were sitting.
    I glanced surreptitiously at Brittany. “I don’t think the elders should get into matchmaking,” I murmured so only Connor could hear me.
    “I’ve been thinking the same thing,” he said, equally quiet. “It’s a disaster.”
    I jerked my head around to stare at him. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Brittany suddenly studying me. I leaned in to Connor as though we were going to get cozy and whispered in his ear, “I don’t think it’s that bad.”
    He tucked some strands that had worked their way out of my braid back behind my ear, his knuckles skimming my cheek, his eyes growing warm as though we were talking about personal things. “He’s not even trying. I don’t know. He could at least…talk to her.”
    I found it interesting that he thought Daniel was the problem while I thought it was Brittany’s attitude.
    “Maybe they just need a little more time to connect.” I really wanted to stay positive regarding her chances of finding a mate.
    “Man, I’m so glad I didn’t have to do the whole dating scene.”
    I felt an uncomfortable tightening in my chest. “You don’t think that’s the reason we’re together—because we were convenient—do you?”
    “No.” Leaning in, he kissed me tenderly.
    One of the girls shrieked, then started to sing, “Connor and Lindsey, sitting in a tree…”
    Connor and I broke apart so fast that I almost got whiplash.
    Several other girls joined in. “K-i-s-s-i-n-g…”
    Of course they ended the song wrong—they forgot to mention that after love comes transformation—but I decided not to correct them.
    After that, it took their leaders a while to get them settled and into their tents. They decided to sing about Lucas and Kayla, then Brittany and Daniel. I’d never seen Brittany blush so much. I figured she would have run into the woods if she could have done it without looking cowardly.
    Kayla was taking the first shift of the night watch, which left Brittany and me alone in our tent. We got ready for bed in silence. When the lights were out, I lay in my sleeping bag staring upward, thinking about Connor and wondering why we didn’t cuddle more, why—far too often—simply talking seemed enough for us. Had we been together for so long that we’d grown immune to each other’s bodies? Was I taking him for granted? Would I feel differently after I shifted?
    I was already starting to notice some differences.
    “Brit? Does the forest smell…richer to you?” I’d noticed fragrances during the day’s hike in a way I never had before.
    “What do you mean?” she asked.
    “I can’t explain it. Everything smells more alive. I know the change will bring on heightened senses—do you think it starts before the change?”
    “Yeah, maybe…I mean, now that you mention it, yeah, things smell…bolder.”
    She said the words, but I didn’t hear any commitment in them. Quite honestly, I didn’t hear any truth. I rolled over to my side. “What do you think of Daniel? I mean, he seems nice.”
    “He’s okay.”
    “You could try a little harder, you know.”
    “Easy for you to say. You’ve never had to try . You’ve always had Connor.”
    I thought about confessing that she might be right regarding what I had with Connor—and how convenience didn’t necessarily mean we were right for each other. But as long as I didn’t give voice to my doubts, they didn’t seem real.
    “I don’t want to talk about Connor and me,” I said, far more sharply than I’d intended.
    “I don’t want to talk about Daniel.”
    “Good night, then.” I rolled over to my other side. Why was I