Free Eden in Winter by Richard North Patterson Page A

fear that you’ve become like him. Or even that something about his death makes you feel guilty.’ Charlie gave him a searching look. ‘As I said, I don’t think you’ve told me everything you know, which leaves me more than a little in the dark. But all in its own time.’
    By training and habit, Adam avoided the implicit question. ‘So it’s all about Benjamin Blaine. Like everything else.’
    ‘Not necessarily. Another way of analysing a dream is to imagine that everyone appearing in it is some element of yourself. So part of you in the first dream may identify with the Taliban who are about to kill you.’ Charlie hesitated. ‘There’s an aspect of our last conversation, a month or so ago, that I recall quite vividly.’
    Adam put down his coffee cup, responding in clipped tones. ‘You mean that, just before returning here, I’d shot a double agent for the Taliban who was about to kill me, drove fifty miles at night with his corpse in the passenger seat, then dumped his body by the road where I thought no one would know him. It’s funny, Charlie, what sticks in your mind.’
    Charlie laughed softly, his eyes still fixed on Adam. ‘Whatstuck in my mind is that an hour or so later you learned that Ben was dead. One can be forgiven for thinking that one experience might relate to the other. Was that the first time you’d killed a man?’
    ‘The third,’ Adam responded evenly. ‘The first was shooting a Russian arms dealer in his suite at the nicest hotel in Eilat, Israel – the Queen of Sheba Hilton – terminating his business of selling sophisticated explosives to Al Qaeda in Iraq. The second was cutting the throat of a key Al Qaeda operative in Croatia, who’d been enjoying a small bed-and-breakfast on the shore. For that one, I pretended to be an international tax attorney. No one can say my superiors lack a sense of humour.’
    Charlie cocked his head. ‘What did you feel about killing these two men?’
    ‘Not much. They’d been responsible for too many deaths already, and would’ve facilitated many more. When it’s trading one vicious life for many innocent ones, it’s not that hard to do the moral math.’
    ‘And the last guy?’
    ‘Was a reflex – I’d killed him before I’d even had time to think.’
    ‘So this time, the life you were saving was your own.’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘As I calculate it, that was about six weeks ago. Then, in swift succession, you learned your father was dead; came home to a place you’d left for unknown but painful reasons; found out that Ben had disinherited your mother and brother, exposing them to financial ruin; learned that the police suspected a member of your family of murdering the father you despised; proceeded to steal or illicitly acquire evidencethat enabled you to arrange for Jack to exonerate Teddy; discovered that your mother had lied to you about critical facts of your life, including that your uncle was actually your father; and forced her to agree to a settlement with Ben’s pregnant lover. When you first explained what you’d learned, I could barely take it in myself.’ Charlie’s tone became rueful. ‘A rich and full two weeks, Adam, which still leaves you on the hook for obstruction of justice, should the police and D.A. ever figure out what you’ve been up to.’ He paused, then enquired gently, ‘Does that about cover it, or are things even worse for you? Which I somehow suspect they are.’
    ‘Let’s say it’s close enough.’
    Charlie shook his head, a gesture of sympathy. ‘And you wonder why you’re feeling a bit troubled. The average person would get his very own wing in Bellevue.’
    ‘Sounds nice,’ Adam replied. ‘But I have a prior engagement in a war zone.’
    ‘So let’s look at what you’re taking back with you. Have you had nightmares like this before?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘Then let me suggest that your life – not just the C.I.A., but its entirety – is catching up with you. True, your tenure at the