nightmare. I hadn’t had one in weeks and I hated that I’d become so accustom to sleeping beside Zane that the first time he wasn’t there, they came back.
“I’m fine. I’ll see you guys at the house,” I said, not giving them a chance to argue over my obvious lie before I headed down the hall. I had to stop and ask what room Lizzie was in, pretending to be a visitor, and it made my stomach churn.
As I approached the door, it opened and Lizzie laughed at something. Zane looked up from where he was holding the door for her, the smile sliding from his face when he spotted me.
“Hey,” he said as they stepped out into the hall. Lizzie was back in her street clothes, holding papers that I assumed were for her release.
“I…” I glanced over my shoulder, suddenly wishing I had just left with Tish. Dealing with Paige would’ve been easier than seeing them actually happy together. “I just…”
“Did Tish wait? I told him I would see you guys at the house,” Zane said, glancing down the hall, clearly confused.
I shook my head. “No, they just headed out. I was going to wait for you.”
Zane frowned, glancing sideways at Lizzie who was silently watching us, obviously enjoying my discomfort. “You should go catch them. I’m going to get her settled in at home.”
My breath caught briefly at the way he said home, like it was something they shared. He wasn’t supposed to drive but he didn’t seem to care about that and I couldn’t make myself say it because I knew he’d find an excuse. He was clearly dismissing me and I felt ridiculous for having let myself need him today. I straightened, not allowing myself to be vulnerable in front of either of them.
“Right. Okay,” I said, giving him a smile I didn’t feel as I pretended the rejection rolled off me rather than impaling me through the chest. I couldn’t breathe and I needed to get away. I tossed him his keys and walked past him toward the side parking lot where Tish had headed.
“ Lili,” Zane called out to me and I closed my eyes, swallowing before I turned back. I hated that he’d just called me Lili. I was pretty sure I hated him more when he held up my phone.
I took the few steps back to him and grabbed it, trying for a grateful smile. He caught me as I turned away again. I glanced down at his hand covering mine before looking up into his eyes. I couldn’t hold back my anger but just as I was about to yank free, he squeezed my fingers.
“My heart,” he said, his voice sincere. He ran his thumb across my wrist as the honesty in his eyes chipped away at the sharp edge of my anger. This was his reminder to me of our earlier conversation; his way of telling me that he was mine and mine alone. And he was doing it in front of Lizzie.
“Mine, too,” I replied, my voice trembling slightly as I returned the pressure of his hand. My reminder that he could hurt me; my hope that he wouldn’t.
Tish had just gotten to the car when I called so they pulled around to pick me up at the side entrance. I stayed quiet on the ride back to the house, trying not to think about what Lizzie had found funny in their situation or what they might be talking about now. I trusted him.
Didn’t I?
Wasn’t this exactly what I knew was going to happen? If I stayed with him, I’d have to get used to this. If? The word, even though I’d only thought it, stopped me cold. There was no if. Not for me. I’d told him this morning that he owned every piece of my heart and I meant that.
When we got to the house, Paige dropped into the recliner in the living room and I headed back to the bedroom Zane and I shared. Apparently, I’d be moving again. I wasn’t sure where I’d sleep but I wasn’t comfortable sharing a bed with Zane while Conner was in the same room . Zane probably wouldn’t be either. I had thrown things around and hadn’t really taken the time to unpack anything from his hospital stay anyway.
At least it would be something to do to