Free Clattering Sparrows by Marilyn Land Page B

I had managed to remain close, just a phone call away, but by spring break, calls between Judy and me had escalated. Albeit her previous call telling me she had met up with Tony in New York surprised me, I was totally unprepared for her call telling me Tony was missing and presumed dead. In February, while flying a reconnaissance mission, he failed to return to the base.
    To say that Judy was hysterical would have been an understatement. Her irrational behavior began to affect her studies and everything around her. She had no one to talk with but me, and I was there for her as much as I could be carrying a full schedule at GW. She checked in daily with Tony’s sister, but after days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, the Navy held out little hope that he had survived, although his plane had never been found.
    When Judy came home for spring break, she was a wreck. Keeping up appearances for her parents were also taking a toll on her. She looked pale and unwell, and for the first time in her life, it took all she could do to keep her grades at a passing level. When we finally got together, she fell into my arms sobbing.
    “What am I going to do? I can’t believe Tony is gone. We just reconnected and everything was going so well. Although I never told my parents I was seeing him, it feels like I was lying by not telling them. I just didn’t and still don’t want to go there. He was leaving, and I had my first year at Barnard to contend with which in my mind, left no room for disagreements with my parents. I guess I wanted to hold onto that euphoric feeling of being in love as long as possible.”
    As I held Judy, I could feel her body tremble, and her crying showed no signs of stopping. Holding her at arm’s length, I said, “Judy, I want you to freshen up, and we’re going downstairs. I’ll make sandwiches and some tea. I know it will make you feel better. My mom is due home at any time, and I really don’t want her to see you like this.”
    For several minutes, we ate in silence, each lost in our own thoughts. Suddenly Judy looked up and said, “Sara, I’m pregnant.”
    We were eighteen years old, and I can honestly say that for the next 50 years of our friendship, Judy would never again utter so astonishing a statement to me as, “Sara, I’m pregnant.” In 1955, it was neither fashionable nor acceptable to be unmarried and pregnant. In fact, many colleges would not even permit married students who were pregnant to attend classes.
    Judy was overwrought with guilt and sadness yet she was level headed enough to begin making plans for the future of her unborn child. Fortunately, she was in New York, miles away from her parents, and this allowed her the freedom to think rationally. Enlisting the help of Tony’s sister, she confided in her that she was expecting Tony’s child. Maria was more than willing to stand by her and help in any way she could. So far the pregnancy had posed no problems, and although she was in her fifth month, she barely showed.
    In less than two months, the semester would be over, and she was making plans to remain and give birth in New York. The baby was due in August. She had until semester’s end to come up with a story to tell her parents. Beyond that she wasn’t thinking. Would she keep the baby or put it up for adoption? If she kept it, she would have to drop out of school and how could she possibly afford to support herself, and a child? She was quite certain how her parents would react to the fact that she was pregnant, and when they learned it was Tony’s child, she felt confident that all hell would break loose. She was further convinced that there was no way possible they would encourage her and support her to keep the child, Tony’s or not. There was also no doubt in her mind that her mother would go to whatever harsh extremes she deemed necessary to keep the whole situation under wraps.
    We returned to classes after the spring break, and the next few months