Free Welcome to Envy Park by Mina V. Esguerra Page A

my actual
face, and I did the same. "So let’s have it," I said.
    "Do you want to start something,
knowing that you and I are leaving? At some point?"
    Not exactly the most romantic of
questions, but compared to George the Ex’s "so you wanna...?" this
seemed positively Shakespearean. And I was impressed that he
brought it up, because it was precisely the conversation I wanted
to have, except I didn’t know yet how to articulate it. But it was
the thing that occupied my mind since seeing Sarah and Liam at the
lobby, and it was the reason why I sat there waiting for him,
giving up the pretense of working out.
    I had a feeling it wasn’t going to
work. I was set on my plan. I had been planning the plan for a year, at
least. It wasn’t fair to expect either of us to adjust; we barely
knew each other. If we were less mature , more impulsive , maybe we would have tried
it, and then we’d be more deeply into each other once the
inevitable separation happened (of course we would be), and we’d
have tearful airport goodbyes, and promise to be faithful despite
being on separate continents, and then fail at it...
    Or it could just be this.
    "I think you’re great, and you’re
really good-looking, and you seem to like food-tripping with me,
which is a major plus," I said, "And that was a good kiss.
But."
    He nodded. "Okay."
    "Yeah. But. We’re both on our way
out from here. It just seems easier if we just get a fresh start
wherever we end up."
    "Okay." Ethan looked disappointed.
That was flattering. He probably didn’t intend for me to see it. If
he did, bless him. "You’re fine with dinner, still, sometimes,
right? I miss having friends here."
    I laughed. "You should be nicer to
people."
    "It’s not easy."
    "Yes, we can still have dinner.
But not tonight. I think we’ve talked enough for today."
    "Yes, of course. Well, good
night." Before I knew it he had slid the rest of the gap between us
on the bench and kissed me, again. To the credit of my lips and
tongue and other relevant body parts, I accepted it with poise and
grace, no awkwardness. It was like my body knew how to react around
him now, when it shouldn’t have mattered, wouldn’t have
mattered...
    Make friends. Make some money. The plan has not
changed.
    Moment ove... wait.
    Just another...
    Okay, moment over.
    "Good night," I said. "We probably
shouldn’t do that again."
    "I know," Ethan said. "I
just...Yeah. Good night."
     

Chapter 12
     
    My life did not screech to a halt once Ethan and
I decided to not become something. In fact, things in my life moved
along just fine even after. Two of my applications to the foreign
employers got responses. One of them scheduled a phone interview
for a vague period in the next three weeks ("when the boss comes
back from London") and the other assured me that I was very
qualified and asked me to formalize my application by creating an
account in the NGO’s career portal. I would be getting calls soon.
The Real Job was there, somewhere.
    In the meantime, my interview at Beckett, Ethan’s
office, for a Not-Real Job was set a few days from now. I had time
to prepare.
    So when my mom called to remind me to get a job and
a water heater, I was actually able to say that I made progress in
both areas.
    "Are you coming to see us this
weekend?" she asked.
    "Well, not if you really want me
to get this ugly heater installed now. Why?"
    "We’re thinking of going to Subic.
Come along with us?"
    "No thank you," I said
automatically. I honestly didn’t think about it and declined—it
just came out. "I’d like to get some things done this
weekend."
    "It’s like you’re still in another
country, Moi. We never see you."
    "Hey, I moved back to the exact
same city. You two moved away."
    "Is everything all right? Any
reason why you don’t want to see us? Are you pregnant?"
    "You wish."
    "A little. Just in case you were
hiding from shame, don’t. I had you when I was twenty-seven, you
know."
    I did know, because she mentioned it maybe