Free Seek by Clarissa Wild Page A

my belly, slipping under my bra. My breath catches in my throat as he cups my breast in his hand.
    “Fuck, those are some nice tits. More than a handful, Lillith.” He squeezes them softly, his eyes darting up to meet mine. “Let me kiss you. Everywhere. I want to give you everything I have.” He plants a kiss right above my clit, making me squirm. “But you have to keep quiet.”
    “I want you, Mister Brand,” I whisper. “Please, I need this.”
    “I know. Shh … let me make you feel good … let me make you come again.”
    In a moment of bliss and hushed moans, I let myself go. I need this, I tell myself. To feel.
    And so I let him take control of my body, inch by inch.
     

 
    Accompanying song: “Once Upon a Dream” by Lana Del Rey
     
     
    Summermount Psychiatric Hospital – April 6 th , 2013
     
     
    My room is full of color. This shouldn’t be odd, except it is, since normally this place is as white as bones. Tonight, however, all the colors of the spectrum surround me. A lamp in the corner of the room is on. The air is thick, and my heart beats in my throat. The door handle shakes, and the door creaks open. One look at his face is all I need to forget what I’ve been told, and I invite him into my room.
    He’s not supposed to be here, but I want nothing more.
    His eyes land on my face as he places one foot inside the room. They enthrall me to a point of being unable to move from the bed I am sitting on. A small smile curves the ends of his lips, a wickedness emanating from him which creates goosebumps all over my body. With his shoulder-length, blond hair loosely falling over his face, he looks like an angel. My angel.
    He steps further inside and closes the door behind him. His finger moves to his lips as he purses them. I’m suddenly achingly aware of how much I wish for those lips to be on me. Anywhere. I don’t know why I want it so much, but I do.
    “Shh … don’t want to wake her.”
    His eyes glance sideways to my roommate, who’s snoring loudly. Sighing, I close my eyes and listen. The noise disappears. When I open my eyes again, she’s gone. Vanished.
    It doesn’t faze me.
    With a grin on his face, he walks toward my bed and sits down at the edge, tentatively scooting closer. “I’ve been wanting to see how you’re doing.”
    “And you couldn’t come during the day?”
    “No, you know that’s not allowed.”
    “But I’ve waited for you in the visitation room. You never came.”
    He grabs my hand. “I’m sorry. I wanted to, but it’s not allowed. Not when you’re not …”
    “Family.” I swallow away the lump that suddenly appeared in my throat.
    “Regardless, I’m here. Now, how are you feeling?”
    “Better now that you’re here.” I send him a smile, and he smiles back, setting my heart on fire. Having him here is wrong. So wrong, but I like it.
    “Why are you here, actually?”
    “I heard you’ve been asking about me. The staff told me you had difficulties coping with your new environment.”
    “Yeah …” I lower my head and look away at the bed my roommate was supposed to be sleeping in. I still don’t understand how she’s gone now.
    I don’t understand a lot of things, but at the same time, I’d rather not know, either. Not knowing means I don’t have to think about it. That it won’t hurt me.
    I’m safe here. Sebastian is near me. He’ll keep me safe.
    I lick my lips at the sight of his. His sly smile beckons me to come closer, but I dare not cross that boundary. I worry that the consequences might push me over the brink. That if the doctors find out I have the man who saved me, the man I barely know, here with me in my room, they’d lock me away forever. This is dangerous.
    And, yet, it’s so exciting, I can’t get enough. I long for a man’s touch—his. He is the only man I trust, the only man who could rip away these briars that have grown around my heart. It’s been so long since I’ve felt this way. It’s been a while since I’ve