Free With Child by Laurie R. King Page B

having so very nearly had none, and then for a long time able to see only an intolerable future. Choices must be... painful. I just hope for your sake this phase doesn't go on too long."
    "I think that's part of it," Kate surprised herself by saying. "I think she's testing me. Seeing just how long my patience will last. Seeing if I still love her."
    "Or maybe --"
    "Maybe what?"
    "Hell, Kate, I'm no marriage counselor. I screwed up my own marriage thoroughly, too, so I'm no one to talk."
    "Just tell me. I'm a big girl."
    "Well, maybe what Lee needs to know is not how long you'll continue to be patient, but how long it will be before you get your own feet back under you, the way she's done."
    "What do you mean?"
    "The Lee Cooper I knew before she took a bullet in the spine, which I admit was not long, would have hated the thought of being in an unequal, dependent relationship."
    "But I've been so careful to maintain her independence. Jon and I have sweated to let her be strong."
    "I don't mean Lee has been dependent. I mean you."
    "What
are
you talking about?" Kate asked testily.
    "Caring for an invalid can be addictive," Hawkin said simply, and Kate felt as if the air had been thumped from her lungs. "I'm not saying it's the case, but I'm wondering if Lee might have thought you were becoming dependent - on her dependence, if that makes sense."
    Kate sat there, struck dumb by the bolt of his perception. She remembered Lee saying it wasn't her legs not working that made her a cripple. "I'm a cripple because I can't stand alone," Lee had said, "I can't stand alone when I'm surrounded by people who want to protect me."
    "Kate," Al was saying, "listen, don't take my amateur psychologizing to heart. I think you should go talk to one of the department's shrinks. You got along well with Mosley last year, didn't you? Go see him again. I mean that, Kate."
    "Yes, I hear you. I think you're right, Al - not just about that, though I suppose I should go and have a talk with him, but about the other, as well. I must have been smothering her. No wonder she went off with Aunt Agatha."
    "Is that the name?"
    "You haven't met her. A rare treat," she said bitterly.
    "Kate," he said, in a voice almost soft with affection, "just forget it all for the weekend, get some rest."
    "I'll try to forget it, but I won't get much rest, not if I'm hunting down a car."
    "And you told Jules you'd do something with her Sunday, didn't you? I'll warn her you may have to back out."
    "Don't do that. I'll make it somehow."
    "You don't have to."
    "I want to."
    "You're good for her, Kate," he said unexpectedly. "It does her good to be around someone like you. Her mother..." He paused, drumming his fingers on the bottom of the steering wheel. "Jani is a remarkable woman who has come through more than her fair share of hell. She's a strong woman, but only in some areas, and I'm afraid she's most unsure about herself in just those places that Jules needs her to be strong. I don't suppose I'm making much sense, but it's a long and ugly story and not for tonight. I just wanted to say that we both appreciate the efforts you've gone to for Jules."
    "It's not an effort, Al. I like Jules."
    "I like her, too. I love the girl. But I sometimes wonder just what the hell I was thinking, volunteering to go through the whole teenage thing all over again with a kid who makes my first two look like saints."
    "Oh, come on, Al, you must be getting old. I know she and Jani are having a rough time, but I got the strong impression that she feels comfortable with you."
    "Thank God for that," he said under his breath.
    "You're not telling me that there's some real problem with Jules, are you?" Belatedly, she remembered Rosa Hidalgo's peculiar message on the answering machine.
    "Jules was very nearly expelled from her school last month - the very first week of classes."
    "Jules?" Kate said incredulously. "What on earth for?"
    "She had her English teacher in tears and then said some inexcusable