Free Only for You by Marquita Valentine Page A

me,
her oh-my-god-o’clock waking up time finally catching up to her. I
smooth my hand down her hair and back. She lets out a little sigh,
her mouth parting as she drools on my shirt.
    Despite the movie playing,
a silence settles in the room, neither uncomfortable nor
uncomfortable. It’s just there. This is how it’s always been with
us Morgan kids—alone in a silent house.
    Alone but for each other,
even on Christmas.
     
    *** *** ***
    Violet
    I didn’t get to have lunch
with Cole, Parker, and Kelly the next day. My mom went into labor
on Christmas Day, and I got the phone call right after Cole dropped
me off at my nana’s house. Later that evening, after I’d booked a
flight for two—Nana and me—to Nashville, I texted Cole the news and
my plans. He hadn’t seemed too upset at not being
included.
    “ Here you go.” My momma
passes the baby to me, all bundled up in a blue blanket. I kiss his
sweet head and breathe in his baby scent.
    “ Samuel Davis Givens was
born last night at exactly 9:59 PM, healthy and full of himself,”
my dad proudly says.
    My nana smiles, waiting her
turn to hold my brother. “Looks just like you, Davis, and your
daddy would be proud to know you named that baby boy after
him.”
    “ He’s beautiful,” I manage
to say on a swallow. “He’s perfect.” This time, my voice breaks
over the word. I feel their gazes on me, but I smile. Tears run
down my face.
    “ Oh no. Don’t cry,
Violet.” My momma rushes to me, hugging me and kissing my cheek.
“Give Sam to your Nana and let me hold you .”
    “ These are happy tears,
Momma. Not sad ones.” Mostly I’m telling the truth, but the pain I
thought I’d feel… it’s not a deep as it would have been, without
Cole in my life.
    My dad hugs the three us
and my brother opens his eye, squinting like a little old man at
me.
    “ This’s your big sister,
Violet,” he says.
    “ And I love you very
much,” I whisper and kiss his sweet head. “No other little boy will
have a big sister that loves him as much as I do you.”
    My mom takes Sam and my dad
pulls me into his arms. I hear Nana and my mom talking in soft
tones to each other and my baby brother, but that’s fine with
me.
    It’s the comfort of a
father I need right now, not my mother, who already smells like
motherhood.
    “ I’m proud of
you.”
    Leaning back in his arms, I
look at him. “Even after all’s that happened. Even though I chose
Cole?”
    “ Well,” he says, “we all
can’t be perfect.”
    I laugh, he joins in, and
then I let go.
    We move to sit in large
chairs on either side of a big window. The post-birth room has
everything we could need, including snacks, a small kitchenette,
and a flat-screen television. Plenty of room for visitors and the
new parents.
    “ Speaking of Cole. Where
is he?” she asks, settling back into bed.
    “ He had to work.” Not a
complete lie. The bar wasn’t open, but would be tomorrow, and he
did need to check on it every day, even on holidays.
    “ A strong work ethic is a
good quality to have,” my dad says.
    “ He has tons of good
qualities.”
    My dad glances at my mom
and Nana, and then at me. “You’re allowed to bring him around,
Violet. I won’t be a butthole to him.”
    I slap my hand over my
mouth, wanting to giggle. My parents never cuss, never drink, and
never watch anything over a PG-13 rating, so when they start using
substitution words, I want to die laughing.
    But I don’t, because I
respect them too much to make fun. And I’m almost just as
bad.
    “ Stop laughing at me,
Violet Rae Givens,” he says with a mock frown.
    I shake my head. “I’m not
laughing.” My words are muffled by my palm.
    “ This is nice,” she says
with a smile. Sam is in her arms, wrapped up tight in his little
blue blanket.
    “ This is how it should
be,” he points out. “The Givens family sticks together—happy or
sad.”
    I lower my hand and exhale.
“And we’re not afraid to let in someone new,” I