The Case of the Exploding Plumbing

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Authors: Donald J. Sobol
pointed to the street.
    “That will be five cents,” he said. “Have you got any more questions, mister?”
    “I’ve always wanted to know where the latissimus dorsi is,” the man said very seriously.
    Max searched through his books—cookbooks, almanacs, a handbook of chemistry, Roget’s Thesaurus, and finally an old copy of Gray’s Anatomy.

    “I’m quitting this corner,” announced Max. “It’s too dangerous.”
    “It’s this muscle,” he said, pointing to a picture.
    The man smiled and gave him a quarter. As he drove off, Encyclopedia urged Max not to move his business.
    “Half your trade is in finding streets for lost drivers,” said the boy detective. “This is the best spot for miles.”
    “Then I’ll sell the business to you,” said Max. “The knowledge in these books is priceless. But for you, Encyclopedia ... three dollars.”
    Suddenly Max lifted his hand to his head in shock at his own words. “Three dollars? Such a deal! I don’t believe it myself,” he gasped.
    “I already have a business,” Encyclopedia reminded him. “Now what’s so dangerous about this corner?”
    “Worn-out sayings,” answered Max. “You’ll understand. You’re bright as a button, not to mention smart as a whip.”
    “Huh?”
    Max explained. His Uncle Bob had sent him a newspaper from Alaska. The newspaper was holding a contest to see what reader could enter the most worn-out sayings, like “flat as a pancake” and “high as a kite.”
    “I cut the story about the contest from page thirty-one,” said Max. “I wrote ‘Alaska Times, page 31’ on it in block print. Then I read the rest of the newspaper.”
    “I’m missing the point,” said Encyclopedia.
    “There’s more,” said Max. “I laid the clipping about the contest on this table. I was reading the last page of the newspaper when Bugs Meany came by.”
    “Bugs! I might have known he was mixed up in this,” said Encyclopedia.
    Bugs was the leader of a gang of tough older boys called the Tigers. Encyclopedia was kept busy stopping their crooked doings.
    Only last week Bugs had filled a glass bowl with water and hung a sign on it: “Invisible Fish. Two Dollars a Pair.” Little kids watched for air bubbles and shouted, “There’s one!”
    Encyclopedia said, “Bugs stole the clipping about the contest?”
    “And the newspaper,” said Max. “I want to hire you to get back the clipping. Without it, I don’t know where to send my list of worn-out sayings.”
    “Okay,” agreed Encyclopedia. “We’ll go and see Bugs.”
    “Not me,” said Max. “Bugs is tough as nails, and I’ve got a thing about living.”
    “Be brave as a lion and cool as a cucumber,” said Encyclopedia. “I’ve handled Bugs before.”
    The Tigers’ clubhouse was an unused tool shed behind Mr. Sweeny’s Auto Body Shop. Bugs was alone when the two boys arrived.
    The newspaper story about the contest was tacked to a wall. Encyclopedia wished Max had not used block printing to write the page and name of the newspaper on it. All block printing looked alike.
    “You stole my clipping!” accused Max. “There it is on the wall, as big as life! ”
    “Stole?” Bugs hollered at Max. “You’re crazy as a bedbug. ”I bought the newspaper from you.”
    Bugs spread his hands as though asking to be judged from above. “I’ve lived all my life clean as a whistle and good as gold.”
    “And you never paid for anything you could steal,” said Encyclopedia. “You’re tight as a drum and crooked as a dog’s hind leg. What would you want with a newspaper from Alaska anyway?”
    “I didn’t know it was from Alaska until after I bought it,” said Bugs. “I saw this kid reading the last page with the story of the contest on it. I wanted the story. I cut it out, marked the page, and tacked it on the wall. Us Tigers are going to win five hundred dollars!”
    “I’d be interested in knowing how,” snapped Max. “You’re dumb as an ox.”
    “Is that so?”

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