be doing it, mistress.
—That settles that, the mistress say and leave.
—Yes, mistress, I be doing it, mistress, Lilith say and curtsy and laugh at Homer. Homer go over and slap her cheek so hard that the little girl stagger and nearly drop. The girl get up to jump her but Homer look at her dead straight and say, Try it, you little bitch, just you try it. Lilith run downstairs crying. Everybody watching Homer as her straighten her frock, raise her chin high and go to her room.
6
LILITH HATING THE DARKNESS BECAUSE IT NOT DARK NO more. In the dark she seeing things, like a swinging noose or a head exploding like a drop pumpkin. Lilith down in the cellar half asleep. But she can’t remember the Johnny-jumper face. She can’t remember if a black pot had green tea boiling or a green pot had black tea boiling. She can’t remember if he scream once or plenty or if that scream different from any other scream she hear on a sugar plantation. But she seeing things.
She running wild in the ratoon fields. She can feel every footstep and her titty not so big that they jerk and hurt her. She running too far. Ratoon field be nothing but last year chopped cane that leave to grow back by it lonesome. Lilith run to the end and pull two stalk apart to see the new fields. A niggerwoman on her knees, shaking and blubbering. Her face swell and cut up and wash with so much blood that she drip red. She begging with a cry for the woman got no words. One of her eye shut. The white man standing with him legs apart, hip thrust forward, shoulder hunch and neck stuck out. He put the bottle to him head and drink again, him long yellow hair blocking him eyes. He rub the bottle ’gainst the nigger cheek and nudge her hard. The nigger put the white man cocky back in her mouth. The white man swig the bottle again as the nigger suck him. Lilith watchin’ the white man thrust himself in the nigger mouth as the nigger suck in her cheeks. Then the white man start groan and make a big fuss and grab the nigger by the head before she can spit him out. Lilith can smell the struggle. The white man make one last groan and release the nigger, who grab her throat and spit and spit and spit. The overseer clobber that nigger and she fall back flat in the dirt. Then he whip out a musket. Lilith jump when he fire and the sudden gunpowder make her cough. The white man look around sudden, but the liquor almost make him drop. Lilith push back quick into the bush but look at the white man drunkenness and feel the sun on her skin and wonder about a man that can drink or carry on as he please. The man shove him cocky back in him breeches.
—What the blazes are ye up to, McClusky? a white voice say some distance away.
—Found meself a runaway, yes I did, the man say.
—Oh, for fook’s sake, ye didn’t shoot ’er, did ye? the voice say.
—Well, the bitch shouldn’ ’ave tried ta run again, innit? the man say.
Lilith look at the dead nigger once and shudder, but beyond that nothing. She don’t have green eye. She not no sister and she not no mother. Lilith say that over and over until her mouth whisper it. She watch the woman turn into nigger, then animal, then dirt, then nothing. Crow food. She look up and follow the sway of the white man, him hair flowing and him loose shirt lapping and her head swinging as him body swinging until he disappear in the field. She cock her finger and aim at the dirt.
—Pow. Pow, she say.
—Is nigger you shooting or whitey? Homer say and Lilith jump.
—Me didn’t see you coming.
—Not much anybody can see in the dark. Other than what they either fearin’ or wanting. Which be you?
—What you want?
—Follow me directly, Homer say.
Lilith not listening to her, and answer with a loud hiss.
—Come chile, make haste. We don’t have much time, Homer say.
—Time for what? the girl bawl out, knowing where Homer is in the dark and looking elsewhere.
Homer say time to make the difference between smart and fool, strong