Free Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Christiane Northrup Page A

dead end. In fact, the effect of psychological factors has been strongly correlated with the length of survival with ALS. Given that ALS has no known cause and no known cure, the importance of these factors can’t be underestimated. 5 Although feeling good about being of service simply for its own sake is health-enhancing, far too many women bake cookies, make coffee, and clean up because it’s expected of them and they would feel guilty (and unworthy) if they didn’t do it. Service to others done under a sense of obligation creates exhaustion and resentment.
    Knowing What We Don’t Want
    In addition to knowing what we do want, we have the capacity to know what we don’t want. Knowing what we don’t want is inborn. Every baby knows what feels good and what doesn’t feel good, and up until about the age of six, a child will automatically go toward what feels good and away from what feels bad. This capacity is seen in its purest form in a two-year-old child who has just learned how to say no. (By the way, the only fears that a baby is born with are the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Every other fear is learned.)
    The ability to say no to what doesn’t support you is an essential part of your inner guidance system. It is never too late to start saying no to those things that drain you and yes to those that replenish you.
    When a friend calls and asks for help, say to your friend, “Let me get back to you on that.” Then stop for a moment and ask yourself, “Do I really want to help right now, or would I prefer to do something else?” If your answer to a request isn’t an immediate yes, it’s probably a no. If the answer is no and your friend gets resentful, it’s time to question the validity of that friendship.
    Check your body when someone asks you to do something. Are there areas of tension? Do you get a gut reaction of any kind? Does your body say, “Yes, this would be fun,” or does it say, “No, doing this would be draining”?
    If you find yourself tired or irritable at the end of a day, ask yourself what needs didn’t get met. Also ask what thoughts, activities, or people drained your energy during the day.
    On the days when you are feeling wonderful, ask yourself what thoughts, activities, or people enhance your energy flow.
    Keep a journal and begin to notice and write down everything that contributes to a positive energy flow that replenishes you. Paying attention to these things will draw more of them into your experience.
    Practice appreciation and gratitude, writing down all the blessings in your life. Remember that what we pay attention to expands.
    Tap into the power of attention. Consciously directing our attention to thoughts, emotions, and circumstances that feel good and up lifting is powerful medicine. Paying attention to and appreciating what is working well in your life changes your vibration rate—the frequency at which you resonate. And you will attract more good things.
    One of my former patients, a social worker, originally came to see me complaining of PMS and mild anxiety attacks. In going over her history, I noticed that she never had any time to herself and that her life was overrun with taking care of others’ needs while neglecting her own. I told her that she must practice noticing what activities replenished her energy and which ones drained her. Then I told her that in order to reverse her symptoms, she had to spend at least one hour each day recharging her own energetic batteries by resting or doing something she liked. She did so, and a month later all her symptoms were gone. She told me that she was learning how she drained her energy in her daily life. She said, “When I lie down or sit down to write in my jour nal, I can literally feel the energy coming back into my body. Knowing how crucial this is to my physical and emotional well-being is a revelation.”
    All of us receive messages from our bodies regularly about what serves our health and well-being