the way I just melted down in the street. But I nod, because I can’t
do anything else.
“Yeah. I just… there was something in the
road. I almost hit it. I think it
might’ve been a kitten. I might’ve
even hit it. It happened so fast, I
don’t know.”
I bend over again, and Dare pulls me up.
“Stand up,” he reminds me. “It opens your diaphragm up.”
Right. Because I’m melting
down and can’t breathe. For
a minute, I decide this must be how Finn feels all the time. So
crazy, so helpless.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, my hand reaching
back for my car fender to lean on. Dare cocks his head, so calm in the face of my panic.
“For what?”
“For falling apart,” I whisper. “I don’t
know what’s wrong with me.”
He’s unfazed. “Tell me what happened,” he suggests
softly, and his hand is on my back now, rubbing lightly between my shoulder
blades, reminding me to breathe.
“I told you... I was driving down the
mountain and swerved because of a cat. I… don’t know why I panicked.”
“Maybe because your mom just died in a
car crash?” Dare prompts gently, more gently than I would’ve ever guessed he
could. “Maybe it scared you?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I just kept hearing her scream. She… I was on the phone with her when
she died.”
I whisper that like a confession, because
I know I’m the reason she’s dead. Dare doesn’t lower his gaze and once again, he doesn’t judge.
“That’s terrible.”
I nod. “Yeah.”
I realize suddenly that the roar I’d
heard a minute ago wasn’t my car door, of course. It was Dare’s motorcycle. “Were you going to town?” I ask him half politely, half truly
curious, but mostly just to change the subject.
He shakes his head. “No. I was coming back. I returned a library
book.”
I’m not sure what I’m more focused on,
the fact that he reads, or the fact that he was coming up the hill and I was
going down, just like the night mom died.
She was coming up , someone else was
going down .
“We could’ve hit,” I realize, a chill
running down my spine.
Dare looks confused, his full lips
parted. “Pardon?”
I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I was just…I’m happy I steered
over to the side, rather than to the middle. Or you might’ve hit me.”
It’s a morbid thought and what the hell
is wrong with me?
Dare stares at me, probably worried that
he’s with some sort of psychopath, but he hides it nicely. “But I didn’t,” he points out. “We’re both fine.”
Are
we?
“You’re shaking,” he says simply now. And with that, he rubs my arms, and
somehow, I don’t know how, I fold into him. It feels right, it feels normal, it
feels so freaking good, it feels like I’ve stepped
into one of my dreams.
He startles for a second, and then lets
me stand there, my forehead pressed to his shirt as he rubs my back. His scent is so soothing… so woodsy and
masculine and perfect. He smells
just like I dreamed he would. I breathe
it in, then sniffle and that’s when I realize that I’m
crying.
I’m an utter mess today.
He must think I’m a lunatic.
“I’m so sorry,” I apologize finally,
stepping away from him. “I don’t
know what’s wrong with me.”
“You’ve had a lot to deal with,” he says
understandingly. “Anyone would be
edgy.”
Would
anyone be having a panic attack in the middle of the road, crying on a
beautiful guy that she’s only just met?
I look at him. “You must think I’m
crazy.”
He shakes his head solemnly. “Nope.”
“Because I’m not,” I insist.
His mouth twitches. “Never.”
I have to giggle now, at the
ridiculousness of this situation.
I look at him and somehow, he seems so
out of place out here among nature, with his slender, refined body and black
eyes.
“Did you see the kitten?” I change the
subject.
He shakes his head. “I just saw