Free On the Plus Side by Tabatha Vargo Page A

panic attack, but instead of giving in and freaking out I focused on my thumb against her amazing skin and calmed myself. My reaction to her was scaring the shit out of me and it didn’t make any sense. I wasn’t technically attracted to her, but I was.  I was attracted to her, not her tits or her ass, even though they were truly luscious, but her. This had never happened to me before, and I wasn’t sure I liked it. Actually, I fucking hated it.
    She made me feel different. I didn’t want to be asshole Devin, I wanted to be sweet. Like one of those pussy-whipped men you see following their woman around and buying tampons and shit. I almost laughed at the absurdity of my situation. I didn’t want to pretend to be a nice guy for Lilly…I actually wanted to be one. Not for any other reason, but she deserved all the sweetness I could give.
    I fought with myself internally over kissing her, but somehow with her I was winning and losing at the same time. Puffs of warm breath struck my mouth as she breathed in and out. I looked down at her lips and my inner struggle increased. Just the thought of touching those plump lips with mine gave me an immediate reaction. Before I could stop myself I brushed my lips across hers. She sucked in a deep breath and held it.
    I’m not a rocket scientist, but I know females, and this girl wanted me to kiss her, probably more than any other girl I’d kissed. She wanted me, and instead of being aggravated by it, I liked it. Her responsiveness to me was a major turn on as it stroked my ego.
    What is it about this crazy, carefree, chubby girl? She’s nothing like the usual girls I screw. For one, she’s not blonde, or blue eyed, or tall and skinny for that matter. Except this one, this one girl’s slowly breaking all my rules and instead of dropping my boxers, I wanted to drop a few Devin walls for her—I wanted to let her in. 
    I took a deep breath and went in for the kiss. I was so close I could feel the warmth of her lips against mine when she stopped me.
    “Wait,” she whispered against my lips.
    Whispering had never made my skin burn before. This girl was making me insane. It had to be because she was forbidden. That was the only reason I could come up with. She was off limits and for a man like me who had no limits with women, it was frustrating.  To think, I had actually laughed when the subject of kissing had come up with her mom. What a dumbass I had been.
    I waited, perched on top of her and ready to feel her mouth against mine. With her eyes still closed, she spoke in the most seductive whisper I’d ever felt against my skin. Her lips brushed against mine with each word, making my groin muscles tingle.
    “I know I’m probably ruining what could possibly be the most perfect moment in my life, but please…” She stopped and opened her eyes.
    I fell into her deep brown pools and nearly drowned. I held my breath as I waited for her to finish her sentence.
    “Don’t do this unless you mean it,” she finished.
    I wasn’t sure what she was asking me for me. I wasn’t sure what I meant. I just knew that I wanted to kiss her. It wasn’t going to mean anything. A kiss is a kiss. It’s not my fault that women turn such meaningless things into big dramatic issues, but the fact of the matter was, Lilly wasn’t kissed often, if at all, and this was going to mean something to her.
    She would probably remember this moment for the rest of her life, meanwhile, in three months when all was paid and my car had a new paint job, I’d never think of her again. What kind of man would I be if I kissed her knowing these things?  Then again, since when do I give a rat’s ass about things like consequences? Especially consequences for some chick I’d never have to see again soon.
    That was my final thought before I gave in, closed my eyes, and pressed my lips to hers.
    Her mouth was every bit as soft and sweet as it looked. She let out a little moan that made goose bumps cover my arms. I