Free Waiting for Mercy (Cambions) by Shannon Dermott Page A

out my phone.  I was about to text when a pair of legs in khakis stepped into my view.  My eyes followed the long line of him up to see that terribly cute face.  My heart leaped.  Paul stood there.  We’d seen each other in school but somehow this was different. My eyes nearly watered for the joy of seeing him.  Did that mean something?  I wasn’t sure yet.
     
    “Is this seat taken?” he asked, grinning at me.
     
    I shook my head still speechless for a second. “No,” I was able to say.
     
    He bent over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.  I thought about the balm David had given me for the protection of others from me.  I hadn’t put it on although it was in my pocket. 
     
    “You look beautiful,” he said, taking the seat across from me.  I had taken the time to change into a conservative sweater and skirt for this evening.  But the way he stared at me made me a bit nervous.  I looked around to see a few other guests in this exclusive dining room watching us.  I flushed from minor embarrassment.  It was funny though.  Luke had given me much the same look earlier and I met it with my own heat.  There wasn’t the same fire inside me.
     
    “Aren’t you the toady,” I said in response to his flattery.
     
    Looking at me with a weird expression, he said, “Toady.  Is that one of your SAT words?”
     
    Nodding, we smiled at each other. “Yep, it means you have an agenda with your compliments.” I raised my eyebrows.
     
    His smile widened. “That I do.”
     
    I thought we might have time to talk but soon after Paul had taken his seat the first course was placed before us. The food, although in small portions, was artfully arranged on the plate. I almost didn’t want to eat it. Parts of me wanted to start taking pictures of every course with my phone so I would remember. And I might have if it wouldn’t have appeared like I was some country bumpkin who’d never enjoyed fine dining.  But truthfully, I hadn’t.  Both Flynn and Luke were loaded but we’d never gone to an upscale restaurant like this. I don’t think it was for any reason other than we stayed close to home and we didn’t live in an area where fine restaurants hung their store fronts. 
     
      I enjoyed every course a little better than the last.  We talked about each item served but left all the heavy words for later.  It was an amazing experience I couldn’t have shared with anyone else.  It had been Paul who’d watched that season’s Top Chef every Wednesday with me.  He’d been the one I’d confided to my dream of coming here.  So it was fitting that he’d be the one to share this with me. 
     
    There was just one thing.  I wasn’t sure how I would explain this to Luke if it ever came up.  It certainly wouldn’t help in a reconciliation between us.  But it wasn’t like there could be one anyway.  Damnation was just a bargain I wasn’t willing to make.  However at the same time, I loved him enough to be considerate of his feeling.  So I was here for many reasons besides the lovely meal.  I needed to explore my feeling with Paul that Luke had been so afraid of. Therefore, I had to push Luke far from my thoughts.  Thinking about him always clouded my mind.
     
     Even though it was late on a school night, I let Paul lead me hand in hand down the quaint streets of downtown Fredrick after diner.  We walked until we discovered a small park.  We sat on the swings vacated long ago by the children who no doubt were already in bed.
     
    “Do you want a push,” Paul said, getting up from his seat.  The next thing I knew I was laughing while swinging high in the air.  I felt like a kid again with the wind rushing through my hair. When my swing finally came to a stop, he took my hands and pulled me to him. 
     
    “Paul wait,” I said when he leaned down to kiss me. He still held my hand rubbing his thumb across my knuckles.  I stepped back needing to put space between us.  I sat again before I said