Free Don Quixote, Which Was a Dream by Kathy Acker Page B

cause He has no sperm, drooling out of His genitaless beard. They're making me do what I most don't want to do just when I'm my physical weakest. Priests're harbingers of death. I want booze, drugs, orgasms, sexual
----
    dramas, connivings, slaughters, the greeds of politicians, preadolescents giggling in the snow. At least I want a glass of champagne. A glass of champagne rather than Him! Of what use is all this - drama, tribulations? What is my life? Just phenomena? Even all that I've thought, I've spent my whole life contemplating, I've meditated. What're these theories and abstractions worth? Are they just the preoccupations of humans who don't have anything better to do?
    :Humans who don't have anything better to do are rich. Are the world's controllers. Did I admit early enough I was controlling the world?
    :Was I? I, an upperclass member. What I wanted most was love. What I want most now, even as I'm dying, is love, though the sexual component has disappeared. I would have this love which is neither control nor being controlled.
    The Prince: What People Say About Me After I've Died:
    :'He fucked every female in sight. He had to have females,
    especially famous females. I'll tell you what he was like . . . '
    :'. . . a ladies' man . . . '
    :'he was so sex-struck, you wouldn't have to be nice to him for it.'
    :'I hear he's the best in town.'
    :'He's dead.'
    :'I hear he's the best in town: It isn't exactly what he does; he doesn't do anything special; it's that he shows he likes to fuck so much, he makes you feel good and that you're the only woman who exists, the only woman who can please him, and what he needs most in the world. You wouldn't feel insecure.'
    :'As a race, Jews're remarkably insecure and need to be needed.'
    :'He'd persuade, by his voice's timbre by his eyes by his desperation by his desperate emotion by his sweetness, that he needed and loved you while he was refusing to fuck you so he could lean on and depend on you to get you to help him in his sexual affairs. He used these women who were the ones he really loved.'
    :'His friends regarded him as a piece of embalmed flesh.'
    :'He didn't like being sucked because he felt guilty.'
----
    :'Part of him wanted to be a female.' :'Cause that part was too babyish to be a male.' :'Cause that part was too scared to be a male.' :'Potency in a man is limited because a sadistic element linked with it requires it to be repressed.'
    :'His friends ran away from him before he died.'
    :'He didn't know what love is.'
    :'I'll tell you whom he loved. The one person he loved.'
    TEXT 3: TEXTS OF WARS
    FOR THOSE WHO LIVE IN SILENCE
    :I need you.
    :Because you had to be out of my life, I closed myself off to all other men. I didn't want.
    :Now, I'm very scared. Every other living being is a nuisance to me. My being alone is my only absolute pleasure.
    :I won't accept the norms I've been given.
    (Explaining to others): We've decided to rebel:
    :If I can't get Heathcliff into my arms because we're too poor, I'll go off adventuring:
    :Wars are raging everywhere. Males dumber than nonhuman animals're running the economic and political world. I want. What do I want? Is it wrong to want life?
    :The liberty for love, the liberty for instinctual roamings, the liberty for friendship, the liberty for hatred, the liberty for fantasy: all of these have faded.
    :Civilization and culture are the rules of males' greeds:
    :The sun was no more than a degree or so above the horizon, where it stays when it is the end of the world. From the still-heated surfaces of the water - not thoroughly cooled by the former blackness - a slight low mist begins to rise; hovering; a mist so thin it is invisible to human eyes, yet strong enough to make the pale sun indistinct and brighter, hot. The edge of this disc touching the longer more elliptical slate of the ocean turns it darker, into a frown: our ocean is now deeper, and hints, in this brooding, of the real presence of evil.
----
    :The second underground