Free Be Brave by Fyn Alexander Page B

relief had been huge when Angel had ordered a chocolate and strawberry
    sundae and ate it with gusto while they chatted about school and life in general and
    how good he was getting with a gun. He related a dirty joke a boy in class had told
    him, and nearly choked with laughter, spitting ice cream everywhere. Kael had
    wiped up the mess with a paper napkin while chuckling along with him. He had
    watched him, marveling at Angel"s beauty and sense of humor despite all the shit
    he had lived through, and at how this smart, sexy boy had changed his life.
    With Angel tucked safely in his arms, Kael fell asleep contented. But when he
    awoke a few hours later, he knew Angel was not in the bed even before he opened
    his eyes. He sat up, looking at the empty space beside him, and listened. He must
    have gone for a drink of water . No noise came from the bathroom. He almost lay
    down again but noticed Angel"s pillow lying askew. The comfort blanket that the
    boy hardly touched anymore was gone. Angel only ever took it out from under his
    pillow when he was really upset.
    Kael got up and pulled on his dressing gown. He always turned the heat very
    low when they slept, and the air was cold. “ It’s good training in case you ever have to
    sleep outside ,” he had been told in one of his early sessions with SIS. He checked the
    bathroom, but there was no sign of Angel. When he found the kitchen empty and no
    lights on anywhere, his concern escalated. It was cold outside and raining. If Angel
    had left the flat looking for his mum, he could be anywhere—because he could only
    be upset about that woman.
    The front door was locked, the chain in place. Kael stood still in the dark
    hallway and focused, ordering himself to calm down. He walked back to the living
    room and stood in the doorway looking into the darkened room until he spotted
    Angel on the couch, still naked from bed, his knees drawn up against his chest, the
    ragged blanket pressed against his face.
    “Angel,” Kael whispered, afraid to speak out loud in case he startled him.
    Angel looked up, and even in the darkness, Kael could see the sadness in his boy"s
    face. Kael took off his dressing gown and hurried toward him, wrapping it around
    Angel"s shoulders and pulling him close. “Sweetheart, you"re freezing. What"s
    wrong?”
    “My mom,” Angel said very quietly. “I thought she was going to meet us on her
    own and go somewhere so we could all talk and spend some time together, and all

    Angel and the Assassin: Be Brave

    41

    she gave me was a couple of minutes on her way to the freakin" opera.” He took a
    deep breath and continued. “I haven"t seen her in six months. I wanted to tell her
    about college and about Christmas and your mom and how fun it all was. I wanted
    her to ask us to go to her home.” He paused and looked into Kael"s eyes. “She didn"t
    even invite us to her wedding.”
    It was on the tip of Kael"s tongue to say, She’s a bitch and she doesn’t deserve
    your love . But calling Angel"s mother names wouldn"t help the boy feel better, so he
    said, “I know, sweetheart. I know.” He kissed the top of Angel"s head over and over,
    rubbing his shoulders. “Why didn"t you tell me how upset you were? Why didn"t you
    wake me? You should have come to Daddy instead of sitting in here by yourself in
    the dark.”
    “Daddy, you always tell me to be brave.”
    “You are brave.” Kael cupped Angel"s face in both hands. “You"re so strong
    under the whip. Not to mention how you shot those men in Bosnia, using a gun for
    the first time. You"re such a brave boy.”
    “I just didn"t want to be an emo and make you ashamed of me.”
    “What"s an emo?” Kael asked.
    “A wimp, a pussy.” He smiled.
    Kael ruffled Angel"s hair, running his fingers through the silky softness. “The
    last thing you are is a wimp.”
    “Daddy, why can"t my mom be like yours? She wouldn"t have put you in foster
    homes, would she?”
    His mum would have prostituted herself