Free Life Is Not a Reality Show by Kyle Richards Page A

and out. Sweet, kind, sensitive, and easygoing. And handsome. I buy all his clothes and I swear everything looks good on him, absolutely everything, because he’s like a fit model.
    I especially love when he has a five-o’clock shadow. I always tell him, “I like it when you have that look going on with the scruffy beard.”
    Then my kids will say, “He looks a little bit like a terrorist!”
    Ha-ha! It’s true, when we’ve been flying Mauricio has been held at security a couple of times. They pat him down, take a little extra time checking him out. So maybe he looks like … a movie star terrorist. If they were casting a movie for a sexy terrorist, he would definitely get the role!
    Oops, did I get a little carried away there? I did have a point though! The point is, a big part of nurturing your relationship with your husband is training your eyes on him , looking to him for the flirtation and romance and validation that you need, and being careful about letting third parties enter the sacred space that should be reserved for the two of you.
    Outsiders can be a little bit like weeds—once they invade your flowerbed, it can be hard to keep them from taking over!
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    I told her to really look at the good in her marriage and how it stacked up with this horrible mistake her husband had made. Were the major aspects of their relationship and life together positive? And what was his attitude? He happened to be really broken up about the whole thing and had sincerely and repeatedly asked her forgiveness. He promised it would never happen again. He was desperate to save the marriage. “If this is the one that you’re really in love with, and you’ve created a wonderful life together, then maybe you should try to make it work. It will be really hard, but perhaps you can try to forgive him and go forward with your marriage and keep your family intact.”
    It’s very hard for me to say anything because each situation is different, and each person has different needs and expectations and levels of tolerance. But I admire couples who can work through betrayal and come out at the end genuinely happy, maybe with a stronger marriage. I know it’s very hard, and there’s a lot of pain involved. But I know it’s possible. I’ve seen it happen.
    I’m not telling you to be a doormat, though. If it happens more than once, I would definitely be hightailing it outta there! You don’t want to be an idiot! One incident, a single mistake, is one thing, but I would not tolerate a repeat offender. I don’t think that would be good for you or your family.
    Of course it’s not always the guy who cheats. A friend came to me once very upset, a woman friend, and she started crying because she had done something with someone other than her husband. I took her hands and said, “Look at me. It did not happen. Do you understand me?”
    She looked at me like I was crazy, and she said, “No, no, but…”
    And I said, “Listen! Stop! It didn’t happen. You’re moving on and it didn’t happen. Because otherwise you’re going to ruin your life.”
    She knew it was a stupid thing that she did, and she hated herself for it because she loved her husband. She thought she should tell him and beg for forgiveness. But what good would have come from confessing it? Or torturing herself over it so much that it ended up affecting their relationship anyway? I told her, “You’ll be able to learn from this, and maybe your relationship will be better for it. But it did not happen and I never want to hear about it again!”
    “But what if—”
    “No!” I just cut her off. Ha-ha! We actually ended up laughing a little, after she shed a lot of tears. I’m sorry, but sometimes you have to carry on as if it didn’t happen. I am a very honest person. I cannot stand lying—liars make me insane. But there are times when it doesn’t need to be said. There’s no need to hurt the other person if it really was a mistake, unless you’ve put him at risk