Free War in Heaven by Gavin Smith Page B

granted.’
    ‘Like what?’
    ‘They don’t understand that we don’t think as one like Them. They can’t see how some of us would act against others of us. The biggest problem I had was trying to explain what happened with Crom. Even the concept of the Cabal is beyond Them. They just don’t get duplicity at all.’
    ‘That would explain their tactics during the war.’
    ‘There’s something very soothing about communication with Them. Something warm. Like this place.’
    ‘Womb-like?’ I wasn’t sure where that had come from. Again she gave it some thought before answering .
    ‘I wouldn’t know.’ She sounded distant .
    She was quiet for a while .
    ‘I can trance in, you know,’ she said. I looked down at her and found her looking back at me, searching for my response .
    ‘Yeah?’ I managed. I wasn’t sure what to say .
    ‘I mean, I haven’t but I know I can.’ She looked away from me .
    ‘Have you heard of Project Spiral?’ I asked .
    She nodded. ‘Vicar worked on it. It was the American and British governments’ attempt to hack what they thought was Their comms net,’ she said .
    ‘But it wasn’t, was it? It’s Them, Their minds.’
    ‘Yes, but it’s Their comms net as well. They have the equivalent of biotechnological telepathy.’
    ‘Maybe, maybe not. You could argue we have that with integral comms links,’ I said .
    ‘I don’t think it’s the same. I’m going to trance in. With my own systems and Ambassador’s help I should be able to do it.’
    ‘You know what happened in Operation Spiral?’ I asked, sounding calmer than I felt .
    ‘No, do you? I’d be interested, but God’s so far away. I know the results of what happened. Everyone brain-burned or mad. Vicar—’
    ‘Was the best of them,’ I finished for her .
    ‘But they didn’t know that it was Their mind and they hadn’t been allowed in.’
    I wanted to talk her out of it or at least tell her to be careful. I didn’t. I was sort of sure she knew what she was doing though this was uncharted territory for all of us. How did an ex-Rigs hooker end up on Earth’s first contact team? Okay, not first contact, but still .
    ‘You can come. I can piggyback you.’ She seemed to be serious. She looked cross when I started laughing. I wasn’t laughing at her; I was laughing at the ridiculous, mind-blowing scope of the thing .
    ‘Me in an alien mind? I think Mudge would be a better person for the job.’
    ‘I don’t want Mudge with me.’ She sounded a little put out .
    ‘I just …’ I struggled for the words to try and say what I meant. ‘All I’ve ever really wanted is to not be hungry, or in pain or frightened, or so tired all the time. I don’t think I want much – to make a living in a way where I don’t have to get shot at or kill other people, like my dad did after he was discharged.’ Before some rich bastard killed him because he could. ‘Then a good book, some Miles Davis in the background and a dram.’ Morag was watching me intently but also smiling. ‘Now you’re talking about going surfing in the mind of an alien race who I’ve spent all my adult life trying to kill, and they’ve been doing likewise to me. I’ve no frame of reference for this.’
    ‘Are you frightened of it?’ she asked. This I had to think about. I should be, I really should be .
    ‘No,’ I finally said .
    ‘Isn’t this how it’s done?’
    ‘What?’
    ‘Peace. You try to understand the other guy.’ It was quite a naive thing to say. It helped remind me of our age difference. Something I tried not to think too much about in case I didn’t like the answers I came up with .
    ‘I don’t think so. I think powerful people make deals. Your way would be better but difficult to do after a war because we’re so used to thinking of the other guys as less than human.’
    ‘My way would be better if we had done it before the war.’
    ‘So they’ll just let you in for the asking?’ I said, changing the subject .
    ‘I