still in there. He spent most of his time
there. She gripped the edges of her robe and debated whether or not
she should go into the chief’s lodge and ask to speak to Citlali.
Even though the chief would be happy to learn she was with child,
she still preferred to talk to Citlali alone. But did she dare
interrupt them? No one interrupted the chief. But then, this was
good news, and perhaps the chief wouldn’t mind being interrupted
this once.
Taking a deep breath, she got ready to
enter the lodge when someone called her name. She turned around and
saw Citlali. “I thought you were in the lodge,” she said, hoping he
didn’t detect her nervousness.
“ No. Usually I am, but I’m
about to go into Bismarck with Gary and Achai to pick up supplies.
Do you wish to talk to me?”
Her heartbeat picked up. “Yes. I have
something important to tell you. I don’t want to interfere with
what you need to do, though.”
His eyebrows furrowed, he asked, “What
is it?”
“ Well, I…” She glanced at
the opening of the lodge. Could the chief hear her? She wasn’t sure
she wanted to say anything when they might be overheard. “Can I
tell you over there?” She pointed to an area between the lodges
where no one would overhear.
“ Is this bad
news?”
“ No. It’s good
news!”
He nodded and led her over to the spot
where she wanted to talk to him.
When he turned his expectant gaze to
her, she blurted out, “I’m with child!”
His lips curled up slightly. “When
will the child be born?”
“ The beginning of
December.”
“ The chief will be glad to
hear it.”
Her smile faltered. “But you’re
pleased, too, aren’t you?”
“ Of course I am. This is
good for the tribe.”
“ Oh.” She wasn’t sure if
this was good or not. She wanted to do what was best for the tribe,
and she was glad the chief would see another full-blooded Mandan
born. But she also felt this was a private matter, something that
should bond her and Citlali together. Unsure of whether she wanted
to hear the answer or not, she ventured, “You’re happy because
you’ll be a father. It’s not just because it’ll make the chief
happy?”
She saw the slight furrow of his
eyebrows and sensed his confusion, but then his face resorted to
its usual neutral expression. And that meant his smile was no
longer there, assuring her everything was alright.
“ Onawa, a child is a
blessing,” he softly stated. “I anticipate the birth.” After a
strained moment, he added, “I’m glad to hear you’re expecting a
child. Thank you for telling me. I’ll tell the chief.” He gave her
a hug. “We’ll talk more when I come home.”
Before he entered the lodge, she
blurted out, “Do you look forward to seeing me?”
“ Why do you
ask?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know.” Perhaps
she shouldn’t have. It was a stupid question. He never complained
about being with her. At the very least, he was content with
her.
“ Being with you is good.”
He cleared his throat and added, “I’ll see you when I get
home.”
She watched him as he slipped into the
lodge. He’d hugged her, said he was glad she was expecting a child,
and assured her he liked being with her. So why wasn’t that enough?
With a sigh, she turned from the lodge and decided to take a walk
by herself along the Missouri River.
***
Onawa wasn’t sure why, but it seemed
to her that making love to Citlali was different than it’d been
when they were first married. He was still tender with her, but she
thought he had a tendency to rush the process. She remained awake
long after he’d fallen asleep after being intimate with her. Even
though she was snuggled in his arms, she couldn’t get rid of the
nagging doubt that he didn’t want to take his time to enjoy their
time together.
As it was, she saw so little of him
during the day. Her time with him at night was all she really had,
though she had to admit the talk they’d shared earlier that day had
been nice.