Free Chitty Chitty Bang Bang by Ian Fleming Page B

it, young feller, you and me go into partnership sort of?"
    Jeremy said bluntly, "I don't know how it works and I wouldn't tell you if I did know."
    "Oh well," said Joe the Monster, "I guess I'm not all that keen to go into the motorcar business. Now then, let's get down to brass tacks and then you two youngsters can tuck in to that scrumptious brekky Soapy's brewed up for you. Now then," he looked at them both craftily, "just you both listen to me, and if you do what you're told, you'll come to no harm and even earn yourselves a bit of pocket money into the bargain. And when it's over, I'll see you're both put on a train and sent back to your precious dad and mum in that hotel in Calais."
    Jeremy opened his mouth to speak, but Joe the Monster held up a big hairy fist. "Now don't you argue with me, young 'un, and I don't want any more of your lip. Just listen carefully to what you have to do." He paused and spoke slowly, looking from one to the other of them to see that they were paying attention. "Now, all I'm telling you both to do is to go and buy yourselves a big box of chocolates. How would you like that? Just kind of a reward for being such a jolly couple of kids, see? I like kids, I really luv 'em." (Joe the Monster tried to put a sweet, fatherly expression on his face, but all that he could manage was a kind of apelike grimace.) "Now then, not far away from here, twenty minutes' ride, is the most famous chocolate shop in the world. It's called Le Bon-Bon, which, in case you don't know it, is French for candy, and it's run by an old geyser called Monsieur Bon-Bon. He's been in it for fifty years and his dad before him and his grandad before that, and he makes the finest sweets and chocolates in the world, get me? Absolutely the top lollies. Now this here old geyser's a funny old guy and he only opens up his shop for four hours in the middle of the day. Can't be bothered to keep it open any longer because he and his parents have made so much money that he doesn't have to work too hard, see? So he keeps the shop open from ten to twelve in the morning and from two to four in the afternoon. At twelve o'clock this morning, me and my pals are going to drive you round there and give you a pocketful of money and all you've got to do is what I tell you. You walk into the shop and ask for a box of chocolates costing four thousand francs, that's about three English pounds, in the old francs which are the only kind I understand, so you can see it's a fine box of chocolates, eh?" And he looked enquiringly from one to the other.
    "Not bad," said Jeremy grudgingly, as if, in his family, they were given a three-pound box of chocolates every day.
    "Not bad, he says!" shouted Joe the Monster angrily. "I'll say it's not bad. It's the biggest box of chocolates either of you have ever seen." He quickly calmed down, fished out a pocketbook stuffed with notes and took out one and handed it to Jeremy. "There you are, five thousand francs. I'll tell you what, I'll even let you keep the change. So there you are, duckies, all you do is walk into the shop together when I tell you, hand over the money, and say politely, 'a box of chocolates for four thousand francs, please.' The old geyser don't know much English, but he'll understand that sentence in any language under the sun. Then you hand him that bit of money and take the chocolates and your change, and that's the end of that. Easy job of work, eh? Nice slice of cake. You're a couple of the luckiest kids I ever did see. Now then, you got all that straight?"
    They both nodded.
    "O.K., then," said Joe the Monster breezily. "Come on, Soapy, and let's get our chow. Looking at the fine breakfast you've dished up for these kids is making me hungry.'' He turned at the door, "Ta-ta, kiddies, and be good until Uncle Joe comes and fetches you." He walked out followed by Soapy Sam who locked the door behind them.
    Well, the china on the old tin tray was pretty chipped and not all that clean. But, by this