Free Our Kingdom of Dust by Leonard Kinsey Page A

him…”
    I stopped her. “Your what?”
    “My handler? It’s the person who stays with the characters at all times while they’re onstage. You’ve never noticed that? All of the characters always have a Cast Member with them to make sure they don’t get manhandled, and to make sure they get backstage safely and in a manner that doesn’t disturb the Guests’ “magic”. So the handlers are always like, ‘Snow White has to go cook for the dwarfs now!’ or some shit like that. As opposed to, ‘Snow White is sweating like a fucking pig out here and seriously needs to take a piss!’ You get the idea, right?”
    “Yeah, yeah. I guess it’s just so seamless and coordinated that I never paid attention. Wow.”
    “Well, good. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Anyway, my handler knew Jay and invited me to a party at his place, and I guess we just sorta hit it off. Obviously I’m a big fan of Disney tattoos, so I spent the whole night looking at his, and he spent the whole night looking at all of mine,” she motioned to her back, “and so one thing led to another, and…. Well, he’s such a sweet guy and he really likes taking care of people, and I guess that’s kind of what I needed and wanted.”
    I noticed that “needed” and “wanted” were past tense. I wondered if that was intentional….
    “Anyway,” she continued, “that’s the way it happened! Any other questions, Mr. Paparazzi?”
    “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” I said, embarrassed.
    “Dude, it was a joke!” She laughed at me again. “You can pry all you want. Just know that maybe sometimes you won’t like some of the answers, okay?”
    “Okay. I probably just need to shut up, honestly.”
    “No, no, it’s good, everything is cool. I’m enjoying my conversation with you, Blaine. Honestly.”
    She put her hand on my leg. And, predictably, my erection returned in full-force.
    “And you obviously like talking to me!” she said.
    “Jesus, I need to wear baggier pants or something. This is ridiculously embarrassing.”
    “Don’t worry about it. It’s sorta my job, right? Like, making people feel happy and excited and shit? I mean, there’s a reason why Walt didn’t make the princes and princesses butt-ugly. He knew the dads and moms were the ones spending the cash on the movies and merchandise. The man wasn’t dumb. Make Snow White a hottie and the dads aren’t gonna mind so much sitting through the movie, buying the dolls, and shelling out the cash so their kids could meet her in real life. It’s definitely a fine line appealing to both the kids and the adults.” She flipped her hair, batted her eyes, and spoke in what was her imitation of Snow White’s voice, “But I think I pull it off pretty well, don’t you?”
    “Yes. Yes, you do,” I lied. The voice was terrible. But she was so beautiful and nice that I couldn’t imagine anyone complaining, and I certainly wasn’t going to be the first.
    She smiled, obviously pleased with her performance, and my subsequent praise.
    “So, what about you, Blaine? What’s your story? Retired porn star, maybe? You certainly don’t have any trouble getting it up!”
    “What? No! Leave my penis alone!” I yelled.
    The divider rolled down.
    “Did I just hear what I think I heard?” asked Jay. He looked down. “Oh, good. Everybody’s pants are still on. Don’t mind me.”
    The divider rolled back up, and Lisa burst out laughing.
    “You made him jealous!” she said.
    “What? No, no, no!”
    I banged on the partition.
    “Jay, nothing is happening back here, I swear!”
    The partition cracked a bit, and Jay’s voice filtered through it.
    “Drink more champagne, Blaine. You’re way too uptight”
    The divider closed again, and Lisa had a giggling fit that was so damned cute that I… well, I didn’t do anything. I just sat there with a stupid grin on my face, totally falling for this girl.
    She stopped laughing, and wiped a tear from her eye. “Oh, shit. I