Free When Fangirls Cry by Marian Tee Page B

under the table, Saffi couldn’t breathe, couldn’t talk – she just felt. She wanted to cry and right now, she didn’t think it was just because of hormones. Surrounded by the warmth of Staffan’s family, seeing how much his younger siblings resembled Staffan – it had made Saffi try to imagine what their baby would look like.
                She squeezed Staffan’s hand even as she nodded several times to Edana and Cairo, who were both taking turns telling her about how Staffan’s last visit had caused a riot. “There were--- ” Edana paused, her forehead furrowing. She spoke the word in Swedish, giving her father an inquiring glance.
                “Barricades,” Saffi translated with a smile.
                All heads turned to her. “You speak Swedish?” Conrad exclaimed.
                Saffi colored. “Just…enough. I wanted to surprise Staffan.”
                “I was dutifully surprised,” Staffan said dryly even as he softly rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.
                “I’m so happy you speak Swedish!” Cairo burst out. “There are so many more things I wanted to say but I couldn’t figure out how to say it in English.” He made a face at Elvira.
                Elvira made a face back. “No. Rules are rules – you must practice your English if you are speaking to those who are not from here.”
                “But Saffi is family,” Edana protested. “We already have to study English in school, Mama. I just don’t want to---”
                “How about this instead,” Saffi interrupted. “You guys talk to me in English, I talk to you in Swedish – so that we all get to practice. Plus,” she added winsomely, “I know misery loves company. That way, we’re all miserably practicing together.”
                There was a slight pause before the two children burst into laughter while Staffan’s parents grinned.
                “Ingenuous – childishly so but ingenuous still,” Staffan couldn’t help but remark.
                “You are such a delight, Saffi,” Elvira said with a happy sigh. “I hope you and Staffan can visit us again soon. But---” She hesitated. “Is flying frequently good for your…condition?”
                “What condition?” Edana demanded, immediately picking up the change in the atmosphere.
                “It’s fine, Mrs. Aeh---”
                “Mama, please, my darling,” Elvira invited.
                She flushed with pleasure. “Mama, it’s fine. I checked with my doctor. As long as I keep myself hydrated and I do my best to sleep during the flight then rest again when we land, it won’t be a problem.”
                “Why are you checking with your doctor?” Cairo demanded.
                Saffi faced the kids. “Because,” she confessed shyly but happily, “I’m having a baby.”
                Staffan released her hand.
                Saffi could feel him tensing beside her, and she knew all the memories had just flooded back, driving a wedge between them. Keeping her smile in place, she reached out and grabbed his hand, not letting go even if he was subtly trying to pull his hand away.
                Gripping his hand on her lap, she told the kids, “I’m hoping you can all be there when I give birth. You could also help me choose a name for the baby.” She pretended to mull it over. “If it’s a boy, what do you say about Staffi ?”
                Silence.
                Even Staffan was distracted, and unable to help it, he said, “What the fu---” At his mother’s narrow-eyed warning, he corrected himself immediately. “I mean, what the heck are you saying?”
                “Well, it’s the combination of both our names---”
                “I don’t fuh-uh-reaking like