Free A Stockingful of Joy by Susan King Justine Dare Mary Jo Putney Jill Barnett Page B

her. She did not look up. "I did not suggest it as a way to help you," he said, "although I think it would solve your situation. I suggested it because I want to wed you, Catriona MacDonald. Just that."
    She stirred silently. The cow lowed and shoved gently at him, and the cat slid over his feet to sit by the warm hearthstones. Kenneth did not move. He studied the dark sheen of Catriona's braided hair, and noted the proud, tense set of her slender neck and shoulders.
    "I will not wed you," she repeated, adding salt.
    He sighed in exasperation, annoyed with himself for bumbling through this matter impulsively and foolishly, and distressing her. He would have to begin again.
    Catriona knew little about him beyond what he had mentioned of his childhood and his cousins. He wanted to tell her about the last few lost years of his life. Perhaps then she would understand him better; perhaps then she would believe that he knew what he wanted in his life.
    He sighed, rubbed at his jaw, wondered where to begin. "I was betrothed just over three years ago," he said finally.
    She frowned, tilted her head. "I did not know," she said.
    "I loved Anna very much," he said quietly. "She was a sweet, happy girl, and easy for anyone to love. But she died three years ago of a quick, fierce illness, on New Year's Day."
    Catriona glanced up at him, her blue eyes wide and sympathetic. "New Year's? Dear God."
    He tensed his jaw, looked away. As much as he trusted Catriona, he found it difficult to reveal the hidden corners of his heart to anyone. "Since her death, I have dreaded the Yuletide season, every day of it, from Christmas to Twelfth Night," he said. "I thought only about what I had lost. I did not want to be happy if she was not there."
    She lowered her lashes, bit her lip, and said nothing as she circled the spoon in the thick porridge.
    "I had set my mind to loneliness," he said. "I was content, in a bitter way, to be discontent. Then you walked into Castle Glenran on Christmas Day." She glanced quickly at him. "At first, I thought how much you resembled Anna," he told her.
    "Oh." She looked away. "Now I see—"
    "You do not see," he said firmly. "Listen to me well. I know that you are different from Anna," he said. "Black-haired, blue-eyed, kindhearted, that much is true of both of you. But now, though I fell through your doorway only days ago, I feel as if I know you well, as if I have known you for years."
    She sucked in a little breath. "I—I feel the same," she said. "But we have spent much time together, shut in here." She sighed as she stirred the porridge. "I am sorry about Anna, Kenneth. It must be hard to lose the one you love."
    "It is," he murmured. "Do not make me endure it again." He met her gaze evenly, though his heart thumped like a wild thing.
    "You do not know me well enough to… love me," she whispered, looking down.
    "Do I not?" He knelt beside her. "I know that you are strong and determined," he murmured, watching her. "You are keen-witted, and beautiful, and hopelessly willful."
    She frowned, but her cheeks blushed brightly. He smiled. "You laugh like a child, and make me want to laugh, too. And you have the heart of an angel where others are concerned," he continued. "I think you might do anything for those you love." His fingers curled over hers while she continued to stir the porridge. "And I know that you are scared just now," he added.
    "I am not," she said stiffly, knocking the spoon against the side of the kettle, and lifting the pot away from the fire.
    "Are you not? Well, I am," he said. He tugged at the spoon, but she would not give it up. She stirred resolutely, though her cheeks bloomed with color and her breath quickened. "Catriona," he said patiently. "Let go of the damned spoon."
    "Why?" she asked. "Are you hungry?"
    "I am that," he growled, and flung the spoon away, turning her in his arms. He pulled her close, kneeling with her beside the hearthstones, and kissed her profoundly.
    For a moment she