Free Evan Arden 05 Irrevocable by Shay Savage Page A

tattoos on my arm.
    “When was the last time you slept?” Alina asks.
    “I slept last night.”
    “For how long?”
    “Maybe an hour.”
    “When was the last time you really slept?”
    “When you were here.”  I’m not sure if my words are clear enough for her to understand, but I don’t have the energy to repeat them.
    There’s a pause before she speaks again.
    “That was nearly a week ago.”
    “Yeah.”
    “Jesus,” she whispers.  She tightens her grip on me for a moment.
    I think she says something else, but I’m asleep before it can register.
    When I wake, I’m warm.  Not too warm like I’ve been dreaming of the desert, just nicely warm.  The lavender scent has faded, but it must have done the trick.  I don’t remember waking up during the night at all.  It’s late in the morning again.  I feel the sunlight coming through the window before I open my eyes.
    Alina is beside me with one hand on my forearm and the other behind my head.  It’s basically the same position we were in when I fell asleep, and I wonder if we’ve stayed that way all night.  She’s already awake, and as I look at her, she begins to run her fingers in a tight circle on the back of my neck, right at the top of the tendons.  My body reacts without any direction from my brain as my back arches with the touch.  I press down with the balls of my feet and stretch.  I think I even groan a little.
    Meeting her eyes, I’m a little embarrassed by my reaction.  She smiles slightly, and her fingers continue to massage my neck.  It feels fantastic, but as soon as my mind conjures up images of Lia giving me a backrub by the fire, I pull away from Alina.
    I clamber out of bed and head into the bathroom without a sound.  Turning the water up as hot as I can tolerate it, I stand in the stream and let it pour over me.  My mind is blank.  Even as I try to determine how I’m feeling, I can’t seem to come up with any words.
    I’m unwilling to think about Lia.  I don’t even want to remember her name.
    When I get out of the shower, I can detect the aroma of Alina’s cooking again, and my stomach rumbles.  I quickly pull on some clean clothes and join her in the kitchen.
    “Pancakes again?”
    She glances up as I smile at her.
    “You don’t exactly have a fully stocked kitchen,” she tells me.  “I have to make do with what’s here.”
    “Be careful,” I say, “or I might just go shopping.”
    “I’ll make you a list.”
    I sit at the table with a cup of coffee and watch her.  She seems completely comfortable in my presence, which is strange.  All the others have been terrified of me come morning.  Maybe I had managed another night without dreams.
    She brings over filled plates and sits down beside me.  I dive straight in.  The pancakes are perfectly cooked, and the bacon is nicely crisp.  Alina watches me as she eats slowly.  When I’m done, she picks up my plate and rinses it in the sink before sitting back down again.
    “How are you feeling?” she asks quietly.
    “I’m good.”  I glance at her, wondering what she’s getting at.
    “I wasn’t sure how well you had slept.”  She licks her lips and peeks at me through her lashes.  Her hair falls over her shoulder as she turns toward me a little and places her hand over mine.  “You have nightmares all the time, don’t you?”
    Well, that answers the dreaming question.
    Her bluntness has caught me slightly off guard, and I can’t respond right away.  Instead, I just stare at her hand on top of mine.
    “Some of the time,” I finally admit.
    The look on her face says she doesn’t believe me, and I look away with a sigh.
    “Do you remember them?”
    “Usually.”
    “That must be very frightening.”
    I pull my hand away from hers, stand, and go to refill my coffee.  Ralph sits on the counter next to the coffee pot with his arms crossed over his chest and a look of self-satisfaction.
    “Not real.”
    “Of course they aren’t,” Alina