Free Minimize Me: 10 Diets to Lose 25 Lbs in 50 Days by Andy Leeks Page A

for a structured,
corporate weight-loss programme full of the obligatory free foods, pro points
and shakes. The raw food diet has four broad branches which in my opinion range
from the ridiculous to the absolutely bloody stupid. If you want to follow the
raw food diet for yourself, you’ll first need to choose which of the four
branches suits you best – either the carnivore, omnivore, vegetarian or vegan
version. Because I’m an idiot and because I’ve got a book to write, I’ve gone
for what I consider to be the hardest and most restrictive – the vegan branch.
In fact, having had a sneaky look at the ingredients list, an actual branch
sounds slightly more palatable.
     
    The vegan version of the raw food diet
relies heavily on unprocessed and uncooked plant foods, such as fresh fruit and
vegetables, dried fruit, seeds, nuts, grains, pulses and seaweed. The rules
state that heating food above 116 degrees F is not permitted as it is believed
to destroy the enzymes which can assist in the digestion and absorption of
food. Another rule states that at least 75% of the diet must be living or raw.
So what about that 25% that I am allowed to cook at less than 116 degrees F?
Well, luckily enough I managed to unearth some valuable advice as to what
cooking techniques could be employed, and I will now quote directly from the
source.
     
    Specific cooking techniques make foods
more digestible and add variety to the diet, including:
     
    ·            Juicing
    ·            Soaking
    ·            Blending
    ·            Dehydrating
     
    I carried on reading as I assumed there
was a piece of text missing. Had it been a book I would have checked to see if
a page was missing. These are apparently four perfectly viable COOKING
techniques.
     
    Immediately I found myself checking the
definition in a dictionary to see if I had somehow, for the last 35 years,
completely misunderstood the meaning of the word, but there it was in black and
white.
     
    Cook
     
    verb (used with object)
    1. To prepare (food) by the use of heat,
as by boiling, baking, or roasting.
    2. To subject (anything) to the
application of heat.
     
    So I was right, both definitions include
the word ‘heat’, and unless there is something seriously wrong with your
juicer, there is never any heat involved.
     
    It was then that I spotted the third
definition.
     
    3. Slang . to ruin; spoil.
     
    On second thoughts, perhaps they were
right after all!
     
    As I read on the article seemed to get
stranger, suggesting I should consider foods such as legumes and seaweed and
drinks such as purified water and young coconut milk. If anybody reading this
knows what a legume is then I salute you; to me it sounds like a disease or a
rash. In fact, if someone said to me that I had legumes, I might find myself
instinctively grabbing the seaweed in an attempt to rub it on the affected
area. As for the young coconut milk, who is it that is going around checking
the age of a coconut? No wonder it’s called a coconut shy if all anyone ever
wants to ask them is their bloody age! (It’s a weak joke, I’ll admit, but my
only other options were to state that it’s no wonder they crack under pressure
and that there’s no point crying over spilt milk.)
     
    The article went from weird to wonderful
when it began to describe the precautions. Again, I am quoting directly here.
                  
    People need to be aware that certain
nutritional deficiencies can occur on the raw food diet, including:
     
    ·            Calcium
    ·            Iron
    ·            B12
    ·            Protein
    ·            Calories
     
    That’s right – calories! A diet which is
deficient in calories; whatever next?
     
    Preparing my food list was like being
put in charge of catering on the set of Watership Down . There were
vegetables, nuts, fruits, seeds and pulses. Nothing on my list seemed to come
together