Free Foe by J.M. Coetzee Page A

will
believe me when I say the life we lead grows less and less distinct
from the life we led on Cruso's island. Sometimes I wake up not
knowing where I am. The world is full of islands, said Cruso once.
His words ring truer every day.
    'I
write my letters, I seal them, I drop them in the box. One day when
we are departed you will tip them out and glance through them.
"Better had there been only Cruso and Friday," you will
murmur to yourself: "Better without the woman." Yet where
would you be without the woman? Would Cruso have come to you of his
own accord? Could you have made up Cruso and Friday and the island
with its fleas and apes and lizards? I think not. Many strengths you
have, but invention is not one of them.'
    * *
    'A
stranger has been watching the house, a girl. She stands across the
street for hours on end, making no effort to conceal herself.
Passers-by stop and talk to her, but she ignores them. I ask: Is she
another, of the bailiffs' spies, or is she sent by you to observe us?
She wears a grey cloak and cape, despite the summer's heat, and
carries a basket.
    'I
went out to her today, the fourth day of her vigil. "Here is a
letter for your masters," I said, without preamble, and dropped
a letter in her basket. She stared in surprise. Later I found the
letter pushed back under the door unopened. I had addressed it to
Wilkes the bailiff. If the girl were in the bailiffs' service, I
reasoned, she could not refuse to take a letter to them. So I tied in
a packet all the letters I had written you and went out a second
time.
    'It
was late in the afternoon. She stood before me stiff as a statue,
wrapped in her cloak. "When you see Mr Foe, give him these,"
I said, and presented the letters. She shook her head. "Will you
not see Mr Foe then?" I asked. Again she shook her head. "Who
are you? Why do you watch Mr Foe's house?" I pursued,
wondering whether I had to do with another mute.
    'She
raised her head. "Do you not know who I am?" she said. Her
voice was low, her lip trembled.
    '"I
have never set eyes on you in my life," said I.
    'All
the colour drained from her face. "That is not true," she
whispered; and let fall the hood of her cape and shook free her hair,
which was hazel-brown.
    "'Tell
me your name and I will know better," said I.
    '"My
name is Susan Banon," she whispered; by which I knew I was
conversing with a madwoman.
    '"And
why do you watch my house all day, Susan Banon?" I asked,
holding my voice level.
    '"To
speak with you," she replied.
    '"And
what is my name?"
    '"Your
name is Susan Banon too."
    '"And
who sends you to watch my house? Is it Mr Foe? Does Mr Foe wish us to
be gone?"
    '"I
know no Mr Foe," said she. "I come only to see you."
    '"And
what may your business be with me?"
    '"Do
you not know," said she, in a voice so low I could barely
hear - "Do you not know whose child I am?"
    '"I
have never set eyes on you in my life,'' said I. "Whose child
are you?" To which she made no reply, but bowed her head and
began to weep, standing clumsily with her hands at her sides, her
basket at her feet.
    'Thinking,
This is some poor lost child who does not know who she is, I put an
arm about her to comfort her. But as I touched her she of a sudden
dropped to her knees and embraced me, sobbing as if her heart would
break.
    '"What
is it, child?" said I, trying to break her grip on me. "'You
do not know me, you do not know me!" she cried. ·
    '"It
is true I do not know you, but I know your name, you told me, it is
Susan Barton, the same name as mine." 'At this she wept even
harder. "You have forgotten me!" she sobbed.
    '"I
have not forgotten you, for I never knew you. But you must get up and
dry your tears."
    'She
allowed me to raise her, and took my. handkerchief and dried her eyes
and blew her nose. I thought: What a great blubbering lump! "Now
you must tell me," said I: "How do you come to know my
name?" (For to Mr Summers I presented myself simply as the new
housekeeper; to no one in Newington have I given my