Free BEHIND THE CURTAIN BEHIND THE CURTAIN BEHIND THE CURTAIN by Dave Berg Page A

as the time Eddie Murphy turned in an entire page of necessities for the forty-five minutes he spent in the dressing room prior to his appearance:
    Drinks (4 of everything)
    Snapple Fruit Punch
    Snapple Orange Aid
    Snapple Grape Aid
    Coke in glass bottles
    Dr. Brown’s Crème Soda
    Dr. Brown’s Root Beer
    Fruit
    Bananas
    Cherries
    Evian Bottled Water
    Juicy Fruit Gum
    Candy
    Snickers
    Milky Way
    Peppermints
    York Peppermint Patties
    Writing Pad/Pencils/Pens
    Regular-Sized Towels
    Wash Cloths/Small
    This list has fascinated me for years, simply because it was so inexpensive and ordinary. Eddie could have asked for a full body massage with a salt scrub, a night at L’Ermitage Beverly Hills hotel, and a stretch limousine and he would have gotten them. By Tonight Show standards, Eddie was actually low-maintenance.
    Ironically, the guests who most deserved special treatment rarely asked for it. Former president Jimmy Carter asked for very little, usually just dinner in his dressing room. We would have ordered him the most expensive meal from Wolfgang Puck’s in Beverly Hills, but he was happy with chicken from the commissary. However, he expected to get what he requested promptly and efficiently. And if he didn’t, I would get a disapproving scowl, which I tried to avoid at all costs.
    He once came on to promote one of his favorite charities—Habitat for Humanity, a nonprofit Christian ministry that uses volunteers to build simple, affordable housing for needy families. He planned to work at a nearby Habitat site and then come directly to the studio with two volunteers. His dressing room request that day listed only a bottle of red wine and three glasses for his two guests and himself. He didn’t even specify the type of red he wanted. As usual, I checked and double-checked to make sure everything was right. When I greeted Jimmy and his guests, I was shocked to see them holding half-full glasses of white wine. I immediately apologized for the mistake and promised a bottle of red right away. But Jimmy assured me with a toothy grin the white wine was fine. I was so upset that it took me a moment to notice that the two volunteers were beautiful, young women—and that Jimmy was sitting between them. They were laughing and exchanging worksite stories. It was all very innocent, but I couldn’t help thinking: Could there be a little lust in the heart going on here?
    Some guests were just plain quirky. A prominent political commentator insisted I brief him about the show with the door to his dressing-room bathroom open while he was urinating. I told him I could wait, but he was adamant.
    A few female entertainers were not very modest backstage. One actress had a “wardrobe malfunction” when Jay and I walked into her dressing room after knocking. She was wrapped only in a towel, which just happened to fall off as we entered. Jay had a great comeback: “How could any towel withstand that kind of pressure?” Accidents do take place, but this one occurred again on her next visit. Even Jay was tongue-tied the second time.
    Another actress wanted to prove to a producer her breasts were real, asking him to feel her up as evidence. He declined, but she persisted, so he checked out her claim and was able to confirm it. Trust, but verify, I always say. No, it wasn’t me.
    A female singer was found naked and wandering aimlessly in the corridor outside her dressing room. She was known to have drug problems, so I don’t think she was trying to make a bizarre, artistic statement. She eventually returned to her room, closed the door and got dressed for the show.
    Many actresses and female singers use and pay for their own hair and makeup people, spending several thousand dollars. In some cases the show picked up the cost, if it was reasonable. Once, Jessica Simpson said she would appear only if the show covered the $18,000 tab. We passed.
    Some female performers were flirtatious with Jay, but most of the time it was just an act. After