Free Lost at School by Ross W. Greene Page B

Galvin,” Joey’s facial expression and tone signaled his dislike of the school principal, “suspended me.”
    Dr. Bridgman was listening intently. “Sounds pretty scary. Were you scared, Joey?”
    “Um, no … not really.”
    “What were you?”
    “Um, I don’t know … embarrassed ?”
    Ms. Lowell interrupted. “Mrs. Galvin said she was going to see about pressing charges. Do you know anything about that?”
    “No, I don’t,” Dr. Bridgman replied. “Hard to imagine that would fix anything.”
    Ms. Lowell was surprised by Dr. Bridgman’s candor. She couldn’t recall having ever heard school staff question the wisdom of the school’s leaders.
    “Am I going to get arrested?” asked Joey.
    “I hope not,” said Dr. Bridgman. “But we do need to get a handle on what’s going on so we can make sure things don’t get out of control again.”
    “How do we do that?” asked Joey’s mother.
    “Well, I know everyone’s focused right now on what Joey did,” said Dr. Bridgman. “You know, jumping out of his chair so Mr. Middleton got hurt, telling Taylor he was going to kill her, running out of the school. But I usually find it’s a lot more helpful to focus on the problem that set the stage for Joey to do that stuff in the first place. If we can find a way to solve it, that should keep it from causing trouble again.”

CHAPTER 3
    Lesson Plans
    You now know that kids do well if they can ; that if a kid could do well he would do well. And that behind every challenging behavior is either an unsolved problem or a lagging skill. You’re also familiar with the lagging skills that usually set the stage for social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, along with two tools—the ALSUP and the situational analysis —to help you pinpoint the specific lagging skills and unsolved problems that may be involved. And you know that once a kid’s lagging skills and unsolved problems are pinpointed, his challenging behavior becomes highly predictable, which means that his difficulties can be addressed proactively. You’re ready to consider your options. But let’s first think about what your expectations are, because unmet expectations let you know you have a skill to teach or a problem to solve.
    If you’re an educator, you presumably have the expectation that the kids in your classroom (or school or school system or caseload) will learn what they need to learn in a given school year. Maybe you expect that they’ll learn not only the requisite academic material, but also maybe even develop a love of learning, a curiosity about the world around them, and the ability to think about, analyze, and solve problems. Certainly you expect your students to conduct themselvesin ways that are safe, respectful, and don’t disrupt the learning of their classmates. And you want to pursue these expectations in ways that are fair, respectful, humane, and effective.
    If you’re a parent, you want pretty much the same things. You want your child to learn the requisite academic material and maybe even develop a love of learning, a curiosity about the world, and the ability to think about, analyze, and solve problems. You want your child and his classmates to conduct themselves in ways that are safe, respectful, and don’t disrupt anyone’s learning. And you want your child to be treated fairly, respectfully, humanely, and effectively by school staff.
    Looks like everyone’s on the same page. When these expectations are being met, kids, teachers, and parents tend to be pretty satisfied. But if these expectations are not being met, you need a plan.
    There are basically three options for handling unmet expectations. I call these options plans, as in Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C.
    Plan A is when adults impose their will in response to an unmet expectation. Plan A is far and away the most popular way adults handle problems or unmet expectations with kids, and not only in schools. Often, Plan A implies the preferred option, but not in