Free Her Only Hero by Marta Perry Page B

confused, as if
he’d lost track of where he was and what he was doing.
    “I—” He cleared his throat. “I guess I can see why you feel you
have to stand on your own feet.”
    She struggled for composure, looking anywhere but at Ryan. “I
have to. I can’t count on them for any help, with Mandy or anything else.”
    They were talking about her parents. Not about them. Not about
how Ryan had almost kissed her and then pulled away.
    She glanced at the clock. “Well, it’s getting late.” He
obviously regretted what had almost happened. She’d give him an excuse to
leave.
    “I guess so.” He stood, and she could feel his relief. “Good
night, Laura.” In an instant he was gone.
    Punching her pillow was doing absolutely nothing to help her get
to sleep. Laura sat up in bed and wrapped her arms around her knees. The red
numbers on the digital alarm clock informed her that it was nearly three in the
morning.
    She simply couldn’t get those moments with Ryan out of her mind,
no matter how she tried. She pressed her hand against her cheek, seeming to
feel the warmth of his fingers. Denying the attraction she felt for him would
be lying to herself, and she didn’t do that.
    All right, she was attracted to him. This feeling wasn’t the
hero worship she’d felt for him in high school. She wasn’t even sure she
believed in heroes any longer. But she was drawn inexorably to his easy smile
and to the goodness she sensed behind it.
    “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” The scripture verse
popped into her mind unbidden. It was probably something she’d learned in
Siobhan Flana-gan’s church-school class, now that she thought about it. Ryan’s
mother had loved memorizing scripture, and she’d tried to pass that love along
to a rambunctious group of early teens.
    You never know when those words will come back
to help you, she’d said.
    What would Siobhan say now if she knew how far Laura had
wandered from her teachings? She tried to push the thought away, but it clung.
Siobhan would care—that she knew without thinking about it.
    Siobhan and Laura’s mother had been the same generation, living
in the same town, attending the same church, but they’d been miles apart in
temperament. Laura’s throat tightened, remembering the emotional storms her
mother had used to get her way, remembering the distress in her father’s face
whenever he tried to deal with them.
    She would be a better role model than that for her daughter. She
might not have the faith of someone like Siobhan, but she would do that.
    She slipped out of bed and went barefoot across the hall, easing
open the door to Mandy’s room. The night-light glowed softly, and the zebras
and elephants kept watch. She tiptoed across the hooked rug.
    Mandy lay on her side, teddy bear snuggled against her, one hand
still on the puppy book. Laura smoothed the patchwork quilt over
her—unnecessary, but she loved to feel the even rise and fall of Mandy’s
breathing.
    Love choked her throat, fierce and protective. She had to make
things right for Mandy. No matter who had let her down, she wouldn’t let Mandy
down. She bent to drop a feather-light kiss on her daughter’s curls.
    I’ll make it right, my darling. I promise.
    She went back to her own bedroom, still wired up and far from
sleep. Once she’d have sought refuge in prayer or scripture at moments like
this, but the barriers she’d put up between herself and God prevented that.
    How could You let us down? Mandy is an
innocent child. Where is Your help when we need it?
    She rubbed her forehead. She shouldn’t—
    The outside lights came on, blazing through the windows that
overlooked the alley, startling her into a throat-choked stillness.
    She pressed her hand against her chest, feeling the thumping of
her heart. Ridiculous, to be so upset because the lights had come on. Maybe it
was Ryan’s stray cat.
    But he’d been kidding about that. He’d said so. He’d said they’d
set the lights high