Free Remember When 3: The Finale (Remember Trilogy #3) by T. Torrest Page B

I’d suffered years of guilt for his downward decline. And there he was, confirming that it was my fault.
       Trip felt me stiffen in his arms and pulled back. His brows were furrowed in confusion. He had no idea what he’d just said.
       “ Trip… I’ve completely beaten myself up over that very thing. How could you—”
       “Oh my God. No. Babe, no one could have saved me from the bottle, let’s just get that straight right now. Yes, I fell hard after you, but it was only the excuse I needed. I was sinking on my own long before you destroyed me. Those were my choices, and mine alone. If you don’t hear anything else I say, hear that.” He paused and turned my face to him, his eyes solemn. “My choices, Lay. Don’t you dare put that burden on yourself.”  He held my gaze until I nodded slightly, relenting.  He gave me a brief smile, then continued. “I meant you could have saved me from the years of pining for you. All these years we wasted, loving each other and not doing anything about it. It was supposed to be a joke.”
       “ Good one.”
       “ It was a bad one. I’m sorry.”
       “ Why didn’t you ?” I asked.
       “ Why didn’t I what?”
       “ Why didn’t you come for me? If you loved me so much… why—”
       “ Lay. I was stuck in a bottle for years. Even after I broke it off with Jenna and cleaned up… I never thought I could contact you. I thought I’d made it very clear that I was in love with you, and you just… turned me down. I thought I was saving face by announcing my engagement, running in another direction, thinking it would ease my pain. It didn’t. I was trying to destroy you, and I hoped that I did. Wanted to hurt you even if I wasn’t sure you’d even care. I couldn’t very well just call you up to say ‘hey’ after that. Look at it from my side. Why would I have thought you even wanted me to? I always thought you’d chosen the other guy. I figured I was long out of the running.”
       “ But I didn’t choose him. I was in love with you .” That earned me a sweet kiss against my knuckles and a shy smile across that gorgeous mug. There we were, together again. I couldn’t even imagine what my life would be like had I actually married Devin. I couldn’t believe I almost did. I couldn’t believe Trip thought that I actually had . “How did you find out I didn’t marry him?”
       “ I have my sources.”
       I looked at him, eyebrows raised, waiting for him to continue.
       “ I had Sandy do some digging last week. The first thing I did when I found out my father died was to ask her to find you. Turns out, she’d been keeping tabs on you all these years. She told me about your books. More importantly, told me you were single.”
       “ So, this whole time, you thought that I…”
       “Married him. Yes.”
       “You really didn’t know?”
       “Babe. I didn’t want to know. I was shredded. So, I cut you off. You were dead to me. It was the only way I could keep myself breathing every day.”
       I thought on that for a moment. I’d spent most of my time during the past years wandering around in a daze. He didn’t need to imagine it; I was dead. “Then why’d you think to call me when your dad died?”
       “ Why wouldn’t I think to call you? I was coming back home. I realized you were the only one who really knew the whole story with him. There wasn’t anyone else in the world I wanted at that moment. I needed you.” He smoothed my hair and added, “I also realized I was done waiting around for this. I hoped we’d have a second chance.”
       “Third chance.”
       “W ho’s counting?” He gave a nervous chuckle, but the situation was far from funny. “Thanks for making it easy on me by not being married, by the way. I don’t know too many hit men out on the west coast.”
       I elbowed him for such a lame dig.
       I started thinking about Trip’s father, and an unexpected guilt