Free Beachcombers by Nancy Thayer Page A

summer. It's the time to make money on the island." Abbie rose, set her mug on the table, and ranged around Emma's room. Emma's suitcases were still on the floor, unpacked clothing spilling out. Idly, she picked up a camisole and wrapped one of the dolls in it. "I'm not particularly qualified for anything. I don't want to wait tables or tend bar, I did plenty of that when I was younger." She put the doll back, picked up a shirt flung over a chair, and hung it in the closet. "What do you think you'll do?"
    Emma had scooted back down in bed. "I think I'll go to sleep."
    "No, silly, I mean, what kind of work do you want to do?"
    "Don't want to work. Don't want to move." Emma turned on her side, facing the wall. "Go away."
    "Eventually, Emma, you're going to have to eat," Abbie reminded her sister. She grabbed her sister's feet. "I know what. I'll take you out to lunch." It was difficult with the sheet and blanket over Emma's feet, but Abbie managed to tickle them.
    All at once Emma jerked away and shot up in bed like a whale breaching. "Stop it! Just fucking stop it ! How can you not get it that I want to be left alone? You can float along on the surface of the world but I can't be like you. I've done my best, I tried my hardest, and I've failed ! It's over for me, Abbie. Everything I've ever wanted is gone and there's no hope in hell of ever getting it back!"
    "Emma, you are only twenty-eight years old," Abbie said softly.
    But Emma was in a rage. "Yes, and my life is over! I have worked as hard as I could, I've struggled, I've tried to be smart, I've done everything the best I could, and it's all turned to shit! And if this is what fate or destiny or God or whatever wants to do with me, then what the hell can I do about that? Some people are lucky, some people aren't. I'm unlucky. How more clear can that be to me?"
    Emma was so upset she was crying and spitting as her words flew into the air. "Emma, Emma," Abbie cooed, "calm down, honey."
    Emma buried her face in her hands. "I hurt, Abbie. All I do is hurt. I can't stop hurting. I hurt with every breath I take. I don't want to breathe. I don't want to live."
    Abbie tried to wrap her arms around her sister, but Emma pulled away. "Emma--"
    "I'm not going to kill myself. I wouldn't do that to you and Dad and Lily. But I have to tell you, Abbie, I don't see any reason for me to live. Or any way."
    "I think you should see a doctor, Emma."
    "No."
    "Well, Emma--" Abbie didn't know what to say. "You don't want Dad to see you like this."
    Emma sniffed and gulped and wiped her face. "I know. Just leave me alone for a while, Abbie."
    "Will you come down for dinner tonight?"
    "Yeah, okay."
    "Promise me. Promise you'll come down for dinner."
    "All right," Emma conceded. "I promise."
    Abbie shivered as she left Emma's room. She felt unsettled, anxious, as if she'd left the stove on and couldn't get back to the house. She needed to do something. She stomped down the stairs and grabbed up the car keys and headed off to the grocery store. They could always use groceries.
    At Stop&Shop, she filled her cart, then joined the long line snaking from the cashiers. In front of her, two summer women were moaning about how they couldn't find help. One needed someone who knew computers for a data entry job, and the other needed a companion for her cranky old mother-in-law who was developing macular degeneration.
    As Abbie listened, an idea bloomed in her head. The more she thought about it, the better she liked the idea, and by the time she was through the checkout counter and loading the car with groceries, she was talking out loud to herself.
    At home, she quickly stashed anything that needed refrigeration, and let the rest wait while she grabbed up a pad of paper and pen. Then she thundered up the stairs and into Emma's room.
    "I've got the best idea!"
    Emma moaned and pulled her pillow over her head.
    Undaunted, Abbie sat on the side of Emma's bed. "I was at the grocery store, and I heard two women