Free Making Marriage Work by Joyce Meyer Page B

be tired. Yet He says that we have wearied Him with our words. Imagine that if we weary our patient and loving God with the things we say, how much more are we wearing out each other? God wants spouses to serve each other, to be a light in a dark world where the divorce rate is incredibly high, to be a light set on a hill and to nurture a marriage that can literally be an example to other people of God’s love.
    I believe that Dave and I have a marriage that is an example of God’s love between two people without us ever standing up and telling others that we have a good relationship. People who watch us can tell that we love each other. When couples get involved in our ministry, it doesn’t take long to tell if they’re putting it on or if they really love each other. You can’t hide true love. It doesn’t take long to see if somebody’s selfish and self-centered, or if they’re really pouring out love.
    If we love people, it will show as an expressive outpouring of who we are. When we are “in Christ,” our actions will demonstrate love. When we are “in ourselves,” our actions will demonstrate greed and self-preservation. The words, “I love you,” can be expressed to someone whether you are in Christ or outside of Him, but there will be a vast difference in the impact and power of those words if you are not in Christ. True love cannot be felt or expressed without Christ present in the heart that both gives and receives affection.
    The words, “I love you,” can be expressed whether you are in Christ or outside of Him, but there will be a vast difference in the impact and power.
    Yes, it is in giving that we receive, and Christ even gives us the love that we need to give to others. If we want love to fully bloom and bring its manifold blessings to our homes, we must submit ourselves to the work of the Holy Spirit on a daily basis.
    Ephesians, chapter 5, supports that women are to be equally good to their husbands, as husbands are taught in Malachi to be faithful to their wives. Verse 21 begins,
Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)
. We are to subject ourselves to each other out of respect for Christ. Verse 22 says, Wives,
be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord
. All the men in the room say “amen” when I teach this to couples at weekend advances. They hear what they have been trying to get us to hear from the beginning. Adapt! Submit!
    But, you see, this “submitting and adapting thing” is two-sided. It is so clear to me. It’s been several years since Dave asked me to sit down and listen to the revelation he had received out of Ephesians. Sometimes when one person gets understanding on a particular subject, no matter how much they tell it to somebody else, the next person doesn’t get it. And, when Dave first told me what I am about to share with you, he was all excited about what God had shown him, but I didn’t quite get what he was seeing. I just nodded my head and looked at him with a blank expression on my face.
    But now I understand what he was so excited about. Dave said, “This is it! The perfect union in marriage is for a man to love his wife as Christ loved the church.” We are not talking about a man loving his wife like the guy next door loves his wife. We are talking about a man loving his wife as Christ loved the church. Obviously it will take some time to expound on that fully, but one thing I have learned is that a man loving his wife as Christ loved the church does not mean that she gets her way about everything. I believe Dave’s revelation was hard for me to grasp the day he shared it because I was still stubbornly wanting my way all the time. I thought if Dave really loved me, he would want to make me happy. Obviously, I was so caught up in thinking about myself that it never occurred to me to make him happy by letting him have his way. I don’t know who I thought was