Free Clarity 2 by Loretta Lost Page A

and steal all possibility of you having friends or lovers...”
    I lower my face to conceal a blush at that last word. Somehow, even though I am literally freezing my ass off (it is now conclusive that I despise thongs with a great passion) my cheeks begin to feel very hot at the concept of having a lover. My feet are still in Liam’s lap, and my mind drifts back to his earlier apology about his body’s responsiveness to me. The thought that someone kind and intelligent might actually desire me is quite wonderful. It gives me a little injection of self-esteem and strength. But then I remind myself that it’s so wonderful it’s almost unbelievable . Something about the whole situation seems too good to be true.
    “ I just want to see you again,” Liam says. “That can’t happen if you go away. I want to be your friend. I want to read your new book before everyone else. I want you to be happy. I want to be there on the day that you get your vision back, and see the look on your face.”
    “Liam,” I say softly. “That’s all a lovely fantasy, but...”
    “It’s not a fantasy,” he assures me. “All of this can happen if you just stay here and trust me .”
    I take a moment to consider his words before responding. A deep frown settles into my face. I try to breathe slowly and evenly to clear my mind as I carefully choose my next words. “Do you want to know what I’m afraid of, Liam?”
    “What is it?” he asks, squeezing my knee.
    I take another deep breath before responding. Tears prick the back of my eyes, and I fend them off with a halfhearted smile. “What scares me most is that even if I could see, I would still be blind to the truth about people. Like Carmen.” I wrinkle my eyes, struggling to repress the waterworks. “She can’t tell what a demon he is—and I’m supposed to be the blind one. What if being able to see actually distracts a person from the truth of things, beneath the surface? What if I saw a pretty face and thought there must be an equally beautiful soul behind it? I’m sitting here with you, and I have no clue what you look like, except for other people’s descriptions. But I can hear your voice, and your words, and feel your touch—and I think you’re wonderful. But I could still be wrong. This could all be deception. I have been wrong before. What if I could see you, and you were beautiful? What if I were enchanted by your outward appearance? How would I have any indication that there could be a monster deep inside you? How could I possibly protect myself? What if having perfect eyesight actually made things worse for me—what if being able to see more made me understand less? What if the world became less clear?” I pause, realizing that I have been going on and on in an emotional tirade. I lift my fingertips and press them against my closed eyelid as a tear squeezes itself through the crevice. I sigh and utter one final sentence to Liam in closing:
    “ You can give me vision, but you can’t give me clarity.”
    Liam reaches out and presses his palm against my cheek. He stares at me silently for a brief interval before speaking. “Winter,” he says softly. “The name does suit you. You’r e as pure as the snow. Your mind is like the crisp, clean winter air.”
    I puzzled by his romantic response.
    “I will give you clarity, Winter,” he promises in a low voice. “I’ll give you everything I possibly can.”
    The tone of devotion in his oath is so strong that I can’t bear it. I press my hands against my face as the tears begin to fall freely. I want to believe him so badly. I want to believe that things will be fine. “I was so happy, Liam. Earlier on, with you and Owen. I was the happiest I’ve been in ages. Everything seemed good.”
    “I know,” he says, hugging me gently. “When I texted Owen, I told him to try his best to make you laugh.”
    Once again, I am stunned by Liam’s thoughtfulness. That he would care at all about making a stranger laugh is