Free Amelia's story by D. G Torrens Page B

were discussing would make life so much easier for all concerned , as everyone would understand the child so much more, then maybe , just maybe , the child would be better placed going forward. This would have been far too logical for them and don’t forget that I was living in times where the child should be seen and not heard.

After my case review , I was called to the o ffice. Gary asked me to take a seat and he proceeded to tell me that it had been decided that I was to return home for a trial period only. This was a huge shock , and despite praying for this decision, I was not sure how I felt. I felt excited at the prospect of being with my brother , Jake , and my sisters , Jenny and Susie , but a part of me felt dread. Y es , I longed to be with my family more than anything in the world. H owever , I had not missed the complexity of daily life with my mother.
     
    All those emotions must have poured out through my face as Gary look ed at me very confused and said , “I thought you would be happy , Amelia .”
     
    “I am , ” was my response , not quite telling the truth. I then asked myself , “W hy did I say that ? W hy didn’t I just share my fears with him?” M ore importantly , why didn’t I ask him whether M other wanted me home ? W as this at her request , or was it the sole decision of the case review panel ? This was very important as this would determine how life would be for me once I had been released into my mother ’s care for the umpteenth time. I wanted to share with him the real reason for my wanting to go home so desperately , but I just couldn’t in fear that I would scupper this opportunity put before me.
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Broughton Estate (back home)
    I was back at home once again. M y Social Worker walked me up the path to the front door, my heart skipping a beat when the doorbell rang. As the door opened , Jake ran up to me with arms open w ide and with a big smile on his face. H e was delighted at seeing me, and M other seemed quite pleased too , but I sensed an atmosphere between us and I was sure my pleasant greeting from her was for the benefit of my Social Worker. Mother asked the Social Worker to co me in and made her a cup of tea. T hey chatted for a little while , then my Social Worker left.

The days that followed included the occasional visit from our stepfather, Robert. I even remember he and his boyfriend taking us all on a week’s holiday to Rhyl in North Wales, a good holiday too, the only on e I ever remember going on while in my mother’s car e. Mother did not come with us; she enjoyed a week off , but little did we know she was lining up hubby number three already. I already k new she had a boyfriend . Jake had told me previously, “M other’s got a new boyfriend. I don’t like him very much because he’s a bit moody ! ” I told him not to worry , because it probably would not last as mother had lots of boyfriends who came and went.

Kieran was a violent alcoholic. He was unemployed , doing the odd bit of labo u ring on the side when he was sober. My mother was very smitten with him and hung on his every word. W e children always took a back seat when she had a man in her life. Kieran and M other were a bad combination as they were both alcoholics and they both encouraged each other to drink. They would get so drunk that some days our mother would forget to unlock our bed room doors in the morning; I would be banging on the wall to get her attention and rouse her from a deep sleep. She would then stagger to my bedroom door , unlock it , and tell me to let t he others out and go downstairs. “ D o not make a sound , ” s he would say.

All four of us would sit in the front room watching the “ Saturday M orning P icture Show,” f ollowed by , “ Champion the W onder h orse ,” a nd then there would be a Saturday morning movie, usually a Norman Wisdom one set in black and white. Everyone only had three channels b ack then, BBC1, BBC2, and ATV;