The Chisellers

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Authors: Brendan O'Carroll
Tags: Historical, Humour
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    Mark arrived back at Wise & Co. at 3pm. Although he was wearing his work clothes, instead of going straight to his bench he went to Sean McHugh’s office. There he outlined what he intended to do and made two requests of Sean. One was for the rest of the afternoon off, the other was for the keys of the factory, so he could return after six o‘clock when everyone had gone home. As he handed over the keys, Sean McHugh shook his head, astonished at the young man’s enthusiasm.
    ‘I wish I had your energy, young Mark Browne. You’ll have your own factory some day, I’m sure of it!’
    Mark took the keys with a smile and replied, ‘Maybe you’re right, Mr McHugh. But when I do I hope I’m lucky enough to get a foreman like Mr Wise has here.’ He winked at the old man, dropped the keys into his pocket and headed off for his afternoon’s shopping.
    His first port of call was Noyek’s timber yard in Parnell Street. Here he purchased four sheets of eight-foot by four-foot half-inch marine plywood and ten ten-foot lengths of two-by-two rough deal. The lot cost him £26 and Mark wrote this amount down in his notebook. It was important for him to keep track of exactly how much this exercise was going to cost. The company agreed to deliver the timber to Wise & Co. within the hour. It was only a ten-minute walk from there to Zhivago Upholstery Supplies in Capel Street. It took some time to pick out what he needed here, mainly because of his inexperience. He looked first at the covering materials. Trying to visualise the finished product in his head, he eventually chose a light tan leatherette, and two moquettes, one mink grey and the other whiskey brown. He needed twenty yards of each and at nineteen shillings a yard this represented his biggest outlay of £57. For seat cushions Zhivago had a choice of four-inch or five-inch thickness. There was a shilling in the difference. Mark figured the extra fifteen shillings was worth it, and took fifteen of the five-inch cushions. He then chose forty yards of one-and-a-half inch foam sheeting at three shillings a yard. This cost him £6. Other small miscellaneous items, like wax thread, circular needles, and a hundred button shells, cost him a further £1/15/ — . Again the company agreed to deliver to Wise & Co. before closing time at half-past five. Mark’s total spend was £96/10/ — . His shopping done, Mark arrived home for his tea with the family at quarter-past five. As soon as he had finished his tea the work would begin.
    As he entered the flat, Agnes came from the kitchen to meet him in the hallway.
    ‘Well, how did yeh do?’ she asked.
    ‘Ninety-six pounds ten shillings,’ Mark said simply.
    ‘Jaysus! Did yeh get it all?’
    Mark crossed his fingers before he answered. ‘I hope so.’
    Just then Cathy came tearing out of the bedroom and flung her arms around Mark’s waist. She was sobbing. He lifted her up. ‘Hey, hey, hey! What’s the matter with my princess?’
    ‘The Flippin’ Flyer,’ Cathy sobbed. ‘It’s dead!’
    ‘That feckin’ go-cart! Look at her knees - now she’ll never be a model!’ Agnes said as she went back to the cooker.
    Mark smiled, and put Cathy back down on the ground. He stooped low to look in her face and wipe her tears.
    ‘What happened?’ he asked gently.
    ‘We lost a wheel half-way down the hill. It went out of control and it got smashed.’ At the thought of it, Cathy began to cry again.
    Mark took her in his arms and hugged her. ‘Now, now! If the Flippin’ Flyer is broken, I’ll fix it!’
    Cathy pushed back from him quickly. ‘Will yeh, Mark? Will yeh? Will yeh, really?’
    ‘Sure I will, no problem, chicken,’ Mark assured her.
    She took him by the hand and began to drag him towards the front door.
    ‘Come on, Mark, I’ll show yeh,’ she said excitedly.
    Mark went with her, down the stairs to the bottom floor. Beneath the stairwell was some storage space. There was a small odd-shaped door that led

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