Free Color Blind (Able to Love) by Michelle Lindo-Rice Page B

she observed the basic traffic rules. All she knew was, she entered her home curled up under her covers and binged on ice cream. It was her way of licking her wounds.
    No matter how far blacks had come as a race, for Annie, it ached to know that there were some who would always see her race as inferior. She could recall countless times a cashier would barely want to touch her hand to give her a receipt—looking down his or her nose at her as if she were trash. Humph, she had career. Sometimes she copped an attitude, but most of the time, she just let it slide. Ignorant people were everywhere.
    When she met Saul she hadn’t gotten that vibe. He was angry, yes. Ornery, yes. But, not once did she think he could be prejudiced. He had several pictures displayed in his home with a tall black man whom he said was his best friend. She supposed friendship was all right—nothing else. No mixing of the races. She shook her head. How could he turn his back on his daughter for years? And, Emily? She was his grandchild. Who did that?
    “I’m afraid to confront him because I’m afraid of what he’ll say,” Annie confessed. She felt like her heart was breaking. How had she done this? How had she put her heart out there again?
    Sari removed one hand from the steering wheel to squeeze her hand. “I hate to see you like this, but you can’t outrun your feelings. I tried. When my son died, I thought I would die. I thought the best thing to do was to carry on and wipe out all signs of his existence from my life. Remember, I didn’t even mention his name for almost a year, but I was wrong. Instead, I had to confront the pain and celebrate Lucas’s life by talking about him.”
    Sari turned into their complex and pulled into one of the designated parking spots. Annie took her hand to keep her from exiting the car. “That was such a terrible time, Sari. What I’m feeling is insignificant foolishness compared to your reality. You lost a child. I only lost the man I love.”
    “Stop. Wait. Did you say love? ”
    Annie bent her head. “Yes, love. There’s no use denying it. It sounds like a cliché but I must have fallen for him the moment I met him.” She turned towards her friend, and entreated, “What am I going to do?”
    “You’re going to fight. If you love him, you have to tell him the truth. Tell him and put yourself out there.”
    “And face rejection?” She shook her head. “There’s no way I’m going to put myself out there like that. ”
    “If you don’t put yourself out there, you’ll regret it. You’ll end up a spinster with those oversized rollers in your hair, who is always scratching her butt.”
    Annie laughed at Sari’s Carol Burnett analogy. “Be nice.”
    Sari got serious. “God has that man alive for a reason and I can’t help but feel you’re that reason.”
    Annie touched her chin. “Granted, God could be calling him but that doesn’t mean he’s for me. I know a lot of Christians who love God but still hold on to their prejudices.”
    “Girl, do I need to remind you of Kirk Franklin’s song? It doesn’t matter what color you are, as long your blood runs red. When it comes to interracial dating, people are always going to have a problem with it. Some people will give you bad looks and others will resent you, but if you crack under the pressure then it wasn’t love. Love bears all things, endures all things…” she trailed off and waited for Annie to complete the verse.
    “Believes all things,” Annie whispered. “In my head, I know you’re right. I’ve got to believe in God’s power. I’ll put my trust in Him. What God has for me is for me and if Saul’s the one, then no one—not even me can mess with that.”
    “Amen! Sometimes, you’ve got to let go and let God,” Sari preached. “Start praying and share God with him. Concentrate on helping him develop a relationship with God. You want a man who is hearing and listening to God, believe me. You do that and let God do the