Free Honor Thy Teacher by Teresa Mummert Page B

sounds of Kings of Leon on the radio. We pulled over just down the street from her friend’s house. “I’ll come for you as soon as I can.” I said, not sure if she heard my voice waver. She had no idea how hard I would struggle to stay away from her. I smiled weakly at her, trying to reassure her.
     
    “I know ” She said quietly as she got out of the car. A lump had formed in my throat and I was unable to say anything else. She stood there, watching me. I fixed my eyes on the road and left, staring at her through the rearview mirror until I couldn’t see her any longer.
     
    I ran my hand through my hair and hit the steering wheel, causing the car to swerve slightly into the other lane. “Fuck!” I had lost control. I was dangerously close to folding like a house of cards perched precariously on the ledge of cliff. Brought down by an innocent. I laughed at the irony of it all. I had messed around with some of the most conniving and manipulating wome n on the planet but Emma brought me to my knees. What does she get in return? I put her life in danger. I went to the one place I knew could give me comfort. A place that I could torture myself without being judged . A place that I could be tortured by others.
     
    I turned on the next road and sped across town to the rundown and seemingly abandoned strip mall. I stopped first at a gas station along the way and bought a large bottle of bourbon. As I pulled into the parking lot and made my way to the back of the building I had thoughts of her. She would be laughing and having fun with her friend. She would be thinking of me, of us. I opened the bottle and took a long swig. I stared at the back of the building trying to think of anything else, anyone else. I took another long drink. My veins began to warm as the alcohol swam through me. I grabbed my phone and began typing. I wanted her to push me over the ledge already, get it over with .
     
    Do you have any idea what I want to do to you right now?
     
    I sent the text and took another long drink from the bottle. A few seconds later, my phone vibrated.
     
    Who is this? It is so hard to keep my admirers straight .
     
    My eyes narrowed at the phone. I knew she was joking, but she had no idea how those words ripped through me. That was it, that was the push I needed.
     
    Not funny. I can think of a few ways to punish you later.
     
    I hit send and tossed the phone on the seat next to me. I drank again and closed the bottle before getting out of my car.
     
    The building was quiet and no one from the outside knew what went on behind these walls. A place like this required an invitation. I had found it after I met a woman at a bar not far from here. She made me realize what I needed.
     
    I ste pped into the dark building, eying the wome n who sat on their knees waiting for someone to come and sweep them off their feet. My gaze fell on J , the receptionist who always greeted me with a warm smile. It was a small crime, and I had no excuse.
     
    “Good evening, Sir.” She chimed like a bell. I gave her a quick smile, not wanting to make small talk. The alcohol was possessing me now and I just wanted to be numb. “The usual?” Her lips curved into a wicked grin. I nodded, and turned to make my way back the narrow hall. “Sir?” She called after me. I paused, turning back to face her. “If you’re up for something different ..” Her voice trailed off. She motioned to the girls who sat waiting, patiently. “ Or perhaps ” She bit her lip as she traced the line of her cleavage with her finger, dipping below the neckline of her already low cut blouse. I turned away and continued down the hall. I placed my hand on the doorknob of room three and took a minute to steady myself. I had drunk more than I realized and it was hitting me harder than expected. I stepped inside and removed my shirt, kicking off my shoes at the same time. I stumbled but managed to keep my balance as I finished getting ready. The door creaked and I