Free Mr. Monk and the Dirty Cop by Lee Goldberg Page A

closed door or the guy working at his desk stop you.”
    “I have a present for you,” Monk said and gestured to me to step forward. I did and set the Diaper Genie down on Stottlemeyer’s desk as if it were made of gold and covered with diamonds.
    He lifted his head and looked at the Diaper Genie. “Do you know something I don’t?”
    “What do you mean?” Monk said.
    “As far as I know, I haven’t fathered any children lately,” Stottlemeyer said. “Or even gotten close.”
    “Don’t play dumb,” Monk said, and pointed to the Diaper Genie. “This is why you brought us with you to see that senile bartender.”
    “The diaper can?”
    “You wanted to introduce me to this wonderful device because you knew that I would recognize its full potential.”
    “That’s a bizarre leap, even for you,” Stottlemeyer said. “Does Dr. Bell have you on some new meds?”
    Monk wagged a finger at him. “I see right through you.”
    “Do you?” Stottlemeyer got up and closed the door. “Then you know what I’m going to say.”
    I didn’t like the tone of his voice when he closed the door or the look on his face when he turned around.
    “You’re going thank me now instead of later,” Monk said. “But you don’t have to. Just the joy of having this Diaper Genie in my life is thanks enough.”
    “I was going to talk with you about this later, but since you’re here, I suppose that now is as bad a time as any.”
    “I believe the correct phrase is ‘as good a time as any,’” Monk said.
    “Not for what I have to tell you,” Stottlemeyer said. “The department has cut my budget to the bone. For weeks, I’ve been looking for ways to save money without having to pass on too much of the pain to my detectives. But I’m out of creative compromises and I’ve got to make some hard choices.”
    “I’m sure the men will understand that,” Monk said.
    “It’s you that I’m concerned about. I’m afraid that I have to cancel our consulting agreement.”
    There was no hint anytime before that Monk’s contract was in jeopardy. And yet now, barely more than a day after Braddock used Monk’s success to humiliate Stottlemeyer, suddenly the agreement was canceled. I didn’t think it was a coincidence.
    I felt a flush of anger rising in my checks.
    Monk blinked hard. “Aren’t I doing a good job?”
    “You are,” Stottlemeyer said. “An exceptional one, in fact.”
    “Then how can you let him go?” I said.
    “Because I have to think of my detectives first,” Stottlemeyer said. “How would it look if I kept him on while they lose their overtime and vacation pay?”
    “It would look like you were doing what’s best for the people of San Francisco,” I said. “Or have you forgotten that Mr. Monk is a better homicide detective than all of your detectives combined?”
    It was a low blow, but he deserved it. Besides, it was the truth and he knew it, which was the real reason Monk was getting sacked.
    And me, too. If Monk didn’t get paid, then neither would I.
    Stottlemeyer got in my face. It’s what cops do to intimidate perps. But I held my ground and my gaze. I was determined that it wouldn’t work with me.
    “That may be true. But here’s the reality: They are cops and he isn’t,” he said. “And I’ll tell you something else. While they were all out there walking a picket line a couple of years ago, Monk was sitting behind my desk, scabbing. Maybe you’ve forgotten that, but they sure as hell haven’t.”
    “Apparently, neither have you,” I said. “This is payback.”
    We were so close our noses were almost touching.
    “What I’m saying is that I can’t take money out of their pocket and put it in his. I just can’t.”
    “Oh spare me, Captain. This isn’t about the strike or budget cuts; it’s about what happened at the conference,” I said. “It’s about your pride.”
    “I’m disappointed in you,” he said. “I thought you knew me better than that.”
    “So did I.”
    We