Free Loving Me, Trusting You by C. M. Stunich Page B

I loved her and she pulled away from me like I was nuts. Now, I have a stupid ass heart tattoo on my shoulder and every damn day I get to look in the mirror and get reminded that she doesn't love me back.
    “Fuck you, Gaine,” she growls as her back arches and her body spasms tight around me. She says that all the time because, well, she is Mireya friggin' Sawyer. “Fuck you to hell and back!” she screams as she claws at the bedding with her long, red nails, tears the comforter to shit and comes all over me, drenching me with her warm heat. I seriously love this woman so fucking hard. I pause for a moment, body pulsing, muscles flexing involuntarily. I want to spill my seed inside of her, but I hold back. We should be using a condom, and even though I know the damn pull out method is shit halfway out a bull's ass, it's better than nothing.
    When Mireya releases me, I move back and she pushes herself up on shaky arms. I notice she won't meet my eyes this time, staring at any and everything else in the room as she stands up on quivering legs and flicks the switch on the lamp, plunging us into darkness punctuated only by breath and the beating of heavy hearts.
    When she falls to her knees before me and takes my cock into her mouth, I wonder if things will ever change, if they'll ever be different, if Mireya will ever love me the way I love her.
    As she slides that perfect mouth along my cock, teases my balls with her fingers and whispers curse words against my skin, I know that I don't rightly give a fuck. If I have to chase after her forever, then I'll do it. After all, what's the fun in catching something that's easy? It's all about the challenge, ain't it?
    I come inside Mireya's mouth and I whisper the words in my head that I don't dare to say aloud.
    I love you, Mireya fucking Sawyer.

I slept with Gaine even though I knew it was a bad idea. Something was different about last night. Something is different about me , and I don't fucking like it. Damn you, Tray. Cock sucker. Fuck wad. Pendejo. I run my hands down my face and stare at myself in the mirror. I wish the asshole had a grave, so I could go and dance on it, maybe spit at the dirt and swear a lot. Instead, his body's probably been swept up by the police, quickly cremated and forgotten about. Nobody pushes hard to find out who murdered a loser fucking criminal. Still, I know that it's his death that's doing this to me, making me act so strange, so … vulnerable. I shiver. Vulnerable is not a good place to be, not for anyone, especially not for a woman in a world of bikers.
    I slide my red lipstick across my mouth and promise myself that the heavy makeup isn't a mask, that I don't use it to hide how I'm feeling inside. Might be a lie, but it makes me feel better. I pucker my lips and slide my finger into my mouth to remove any excess before grabbing my jacket and heading out the door.
    With my fingers clamped around the handle I pause and glance back at Gaine.
    He's still sleeping, lying out naked on his back with a damn hard-on. Staring at his sleeping face, his stubbled jaw, his fall of dark hair, I almost, almost feel a smile twitch my lips. At the last second I manage to push it back, muttering under my breath about the young, useless piece of ass that was crowding my bed last night.
    When I get into the hallway, I see that Amy Cross is already waiting for me.
    “I was just about to knock,” she says with a smile. I stare at her, and I don't bother to hide my distaste. She might think I hate her because Austin likes her better than me. While I'm not going to lie and say that I don't feel any animosity towards her for that, it isn't why I feel so angry when I look at her. Amy might not have had a perfect life, but she had an okay one, and she threw it away to come live this life. While I can't deny that the open road has its appeal, that wind in your face and metal between your thighs is its own sort of heaven, I can tell you that I wouldn't have given up a