Free Madonna and Me by Laura Barcella Jessica Valenti Page A

dance. I was better at reading, writing, and school than just about anything else I’d attempted.

    These days, the list of black women artists who have Madonna-esque elements is long: Lil’ Kim, Eve, and Nicki Minaj are just a few who embody the essence of her swagger. As a white artist who was unafraid to express her affinity for black culture in a time before it was cool, Madonna set the stage for a new generation of women—celebrities and regular folks alike—to express themselves outside of racial classifications. What was then taboo turned out to be just one more way that Madonna was a visionary, embracing the best parts of black culture before our generation caught up and followed her lead.

Mad Mensch
    Wendy Shanker
     
     
     
     
     
    AFTER HALF A century on this planet, Madonna has creative expression and power, intellectual curiosity, beautiful children, financial security (and then some), and a team of friends and colleagues who she can love and trust. Only one thing is missing.
    Madonna needs a mensch. A good man, a stand-up guy with means and influence. “Mensch” is a Yiddish word meaning “a person of integrity and honor.” Yiddish lexicologist Leo Rosten says a mensch is “someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character. The key to being a real mensch is nothing less than a sense of what is right, responsible, decorous.”
    I’m thinking that since Madonna got such a life-affirming boost from Kabbalah, maybe she would be equally inspired by a Jewish connection in her love life.
    She may have gotten fleeting pleasure from guys like A-Rod (emphasis on the rod ) and 22-year old Brazilian DJ Jesus Luz, but they can’t match her cerebral and artistic maturity. I know she’s drawn to
Latino men. I know she is attracted to fiery figures. I know she’s got a libido that made her ex-boyfriend Warren Beatty look like a prude. But clearly this kind of Renaissance woman requires more than orgasms and mix tapes to fulfill her romantic needs.
    Sean Penn may have been a soul mate, but he was not a mensch. Mensches don’t ball up their Versace suits and leave them on the floor. Mensches don’t tie their wives to chairs (without asking nicely first).
    Warren Beatty may have been a Lothario, but he was not a mensch. Mensches don’t sleep with more than one woman at the same time. Mensches don’t worry about their younger girlfriends stealing their spotlight.
    Carlos Leon may have been a good sperminator, but he was not a mensch. You’d never confuse a mensch with a personal trainer.
    Guy Ritchie may have been a . . . well, as far as I can tell, he was pretty much just an asshole. Or an arsehole, if you prefer.
    In my head, I picture Madonna with a guy her age or older. He’s been a success in life in both appearances (money, taste, looks, philanthropy) and on more subtle levels (intelligence, influence, self-confidence). He’s a man who has already had a wife and children and is not seeking more. A man who is not, I repeat, not in the entertainment business. He may find showbiz amusing, but his ego is not affected by media whims. His investment in the relationship isn’t about being attached to “Madonna,” the icon, but connecting to Madonna, the woman. The activist. The artist. The mother.
    And he definitely needs to be a Jew.
    Some of Madonna’s most successful relationships in life have been with Jewish men: Seymour Stein, who signed her to Warner Bros. Freddy DeMann, her pre-Maverick manager. Liz Rosenberg, her publicist and defender for decades (fine, she’s not a man, but she’s as tough as one). Guy Oseary, her longtime partner in crime. And Michael Berg, the rabbi who taught her Kabbalah.
    I’m not talking about a neurotic Jew, like Woody Allen or Larry David, or a power-hungry Napoleon type, like Michael Bloomberg or
Ron Perelman. I’m picturing a Thomas Friedman, a Rahm Emmanuel, a Guggenheim, an Annenberg—a thoughtful, strong-willed Jewish man who is more impressed by her