Free The Family Man by Elinor Lipman Page A

hands and kissing, but that's only for public consumption."
    "I couldn't agree more."
    "Even if they say blah blah blah, there're so many shades of gray, and what if his hand slips and should cup a buttock when you're dancing? You'll explain that I'd be a paid escort if there are any sex acts involved, right?"
    "Happy to."
    "The monthly stipends should be in cash, don't you think? If it's by check, won't some bank employee know I'm being paid by Leif?"
    "I'm sure they'll launder it. Unless they're incompetent, it wouldn't be from Leif's account or from his publicist's."
    "And I absolutely have to tell Arielle and Amanda about the deal—can we ask for a couple of relatively discreet best-friend leaks, because I can't just get engaged overnight to someone I've never mentioned. They'll sign confidentiality agreements, too. In fact, I think they'd love that."
    Henry asks, "Which does beg the question: Will the public buy it? Won't it appear awfully precipitous?"
    Thalia says in mock dismay, "Henry, I think you're forgetting that I met Leif through Sally years ago and we've been seeing each other secretly for months. She had us both to dinner, a small group at her apartment on Jane Street, at which she served spaghetti with puttanesca sauce and three tropical flavors of gelato. Ages ago, as you may recall. So you see, it's been quite a long romance."

    A stern female voice answers their knock with, "Door's open." Henry puts a hand on Thalia's forearm and whispers, "No. We're not room service. Let them get off their asses."
    The same voice, more annoyed now, calls, "Who is it?"
    Henry says, "Miss Krouch and her lawyer. We can come back if you're indisposed."
    Footsteps approach. The door opens to reveal a woman in, Henry guesses, her last trimester of pregnancy, attired nonetheless in a three-piece black pinstriped suit. "We're all here now," she says as her eyes surveil the hallway.
    Thalia and Henry enter the suite's living room, an old-fashioned affair in shades of gold and yam. The fringed drapes are drawn. A second, younger woman, dressed in a short leather skirt and denim jacket, is seated on a sofa, her yellow hair spiked and her eyeglasses a leopard print. On the coffee table in front of her are legal folders and a bowl of red grapes. The two women stare at their visitors for a few seconds past necessary. Thalia approaches both and shakes their hands in the manner of someone who must take introductions upon herself in the face of lapsed etiquette. "This is my lawyer," she adds. "Henry Archer."
    "Attorney Michele Schneider," says the pregnant one.
    "I'm Mr. Dumont's publicist," says the blond. "Wendy Morelli. New York office of Estime."
    "Is Leif joining us?" asks Thalia.
    A toilet flushes—once, twice. Water runs. Wendy says, "He's a little under the weather. He had vindaloo last night."
    Leif emerges from the bedroom dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt bearing his production company's logo, a mummy behind a movie camera. Most startlingly: He has shaved his head and pierced both earlobes, now displaying blueberry-sized diamonds. He says, "I'd shake your hand, but I don't know if I have a bug or if it's what I ate last night."
    His lawyer asks, "Shall we get started?"
    The mission, she summarizes, is this: Candidate will be seen publicly and socially with Leif. Their engagement will be announced six weeks from first tabloid—print or electronic—coverage and/or tersely acknowledged after engagement ring is sighted on the future Mrs. Dumont's hand. At a point to be determined, but not before the romance has spawned a sufficient number of news items, photographs, blind items, et cetera, and Estime is satisfied that his profile has been measurably enhanced, Mr. Dumont will break the engagement when a higher-profile Hollywood actress to be named later comes between them. From the outset, the candidate will neither confirm nor deny the status of the relationship verbally—
    "Why not?" asks Henry.
    "We've had some disasters