up at Tor. What was he thinking? His arms were crossed and his eyes—worried? Perplexed? Or worse: Disappointed?
Colby was shouting at me when I got to the bench. “Cheater!”
“I’m not,” I said, shocked. How quickly our camaraderie had deteriorated.
He yelled at Coach. “She’s doing drugs. She has to be.”
His eyes were a blaze of anger and humiliation.
I didn’t think he meant to do what happened next. Maybe in his mind he wanted to, but he’d never really do it—I knew Colby, and I knew this. His arms were flailing wildly as he made his accusations. He meant to just point at me (I was sure of it), but instead he accidentally knocked me into the pool.
Of course I wasn’t physically hurt, but it was just so shocking. To others it looked like I had just been attacked by my own teammate and Colby specifically. I pulled myself out wondering what all the sports columnists were going to write about us in the local papers now.
I felt shame and anger—I didn’t do anything wrong. I snuck a sideways glance at Tor. His mouth was in a straight terse line. He pounded the glass with his fist. I’d bet he wished he could be down here to knock Colby’s lights out, but the humidity forced him to stay away.
For once I was glad of it.
Mom’s eyes were wide, her hand over her mouth. Dad had his arm around her shoulders, his brows furrowed.
Nana was gnawing on her lip, deep in thought. I didn’t know what else she could be thinking about now. Maybe she really was losing her mind.
The swim meet officials conferred with Coach. He came back looking grim.
“They want to disqualify you, Dori. They say your time was impossible without enhancements. I convinced them to let your time stand until they can prove otherwise with drug testing.”
“I’m clean,” I whimpered.
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to prove it.”
The girls in the dressing room glared at me like I had leprosy, which with my red, itchy legs, wasn’t too far off. Even Ally, who usually always smiled and accepted the fact that I was a stronger swimmer, didn’t offer me a comforting glance.
I quickly rinsed off under the open stalled showers, swimsuit on, then wrapped my towel around myself.
Mom found me and threw her arms around me, no matter that I was wet and spotted her jacket. “We’ll get to the bottom of this,” she whispered.
A female judge walked in and called my name, Elizabeth Seward . Her voice resounded through the space like an echo chamber, and my first inclination was to run into a stall and hide.
Everyone else seemed confused— Who’s Elizabeth? they whispered. They only knew me by my nickname. I stepped forward.
After asking my mother for permission she said to me, “First let me take a blood sample, then you can pee in the cup.” She handed me a plastic container, and I grew even redder with embarrassment. Would she like to strip-search me, too? I didn’t think the female swim community was getting enough of a show here.
I sat on the bench as she took my hand and pricked my finger. Mom offered me her motherly comforting smiles. Then I trudged off to the toilets to fulfill the rest of my duties.
When we were finally able to leave I met up with the rest of my group in the foyer. My eyes were glossy and my face blotchy from holding back tears.
Dad patted me on the back and made soothing clucking noises. “It’s not true,” I pouted.
Nana reached for me next.
“This too shall pass,” she said.
I stole a glimpse of Tor. He stood quietly to the side. I didn’t know what to do. Go to him? Ignore him? I felt so embarrassed and humiliated; I just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.
Tor didn’t know what to say either, apparently. The ride home was almost unbearable.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I didn’t sleep well. In my dreams I was at the pool, everyone’s fingers pointing and jabbing my face. Then the scene changed and I was swimming with Tor, in the ocean. He kissed me, and then left.