Free Days Gone Bad by Eric Asher Page B

the car, and up to my shop’s front door, I stumbled to the back room with make-up gifts in tow. The thud the cheese wheel made as I dropped it on the table was enough to raise the dead. A pair of fairies appeared in front of me, hovering with slow wing movements and swords drawn.
    “Hey Foster, I have a peace offering.” I waved at the massive wheel.
    He scowled at me, glanced at the cheese, and then back to me. His eyes went wide and he turned back to the wheel, gliding onto the label. “Cheese … it’s all cheese?” He looked astonished.
    I started to smile when a small voice cleared its throat. I turned my head slightly to find Cara about an inch from my eyeball with a gleaming metal shard.
    “Ah, hi Mom.”
    I doubt the devil could match her grin. She didn’t lower her sword.
    “Check this out.” I leaned backwards just a hair and crinkled the brown paper bag without moving the rest of my body to reveal a Bushmills Irish Whiskey label.
    “Oh, you dear boy.” She smiled and patted my cheek. Her sword was gone and I was suddenly crinkling an empty brown bag. I have no clue where the whiskey went.
    Foster laughed and hacked off a chunk of cheese the size of his head. With a full mouth he said, “Apology accepted. We don’t have to maim you now.” He vanished into the ancient grandfather clock, an armload of cheese in tow.
    “Ha, yeah, that’s good.” I smiled, and shivered, and solemnly left the shop.
     
    ***
     
    I had my hand on my rental car, ready to open it and hit the liquor store for some ale when the doggy door squeaked behind me and a small voice said, “Damian, wait!”
    I paused and was surprised when Aideen landed on the roof of the car.
    “What’s up?” I said.
    “I wanted to thank you.” She bowed her head. “And apologize. I know you did not mean what you said to Foster. He never should have reacted like that. It’s Cara,” her eyes flicked to the shop and back, “she overreacts sometimes and I’m afraid he’s much the same on occasion.”
    I’d never heard Aideen talk that much. I smiled and said, “It’s not a problem, I think we’re all happy now.”
    “Yes, yes we are. Thank you, the cheese is fantastic.” She smiled and took off with one flap of her wings, turning back in midair. “Damian, please take care of Foster for me? I sometimes fear he doesn’t know his limits.”
    “I promise Aideen, I’ll keep an eye on him.”
    She smiled and vanished through the doggy door. It reminded me of the fact I hadn’t seen the cu siths around since my last impromptu piercing. Maybe Foster finally gave them up. I’d have to ask him.
    I was in the liquor store moping about their lack of ale and picking up a six-pack of Sam Adams, when I remembered Robert. “Shit,” I muttered and glanced at the clock on the wall. Robert was my gemstone supplier and he was supposed to be at the shop in an hour. I grabbed two extra six packs and checked out.
    I pulled out my cell and dialed. “Frank, hey, can you come down to the shop?”
    “Sure, what’d you need? You’re not at Vamps ‘R Us?”
    I let out a short laugh. “Robert’s coming by in an hour. I’ll get some pizza and whatnot for an early dinner.”
    “Hell yeah, I’ll be right there!” he said before he hung up.
    He sounded sincerely excited. I stared at the phone in disbelief. Who gets excited about crap like this? Inventory? Gah. I shook my head and called the pizza joint.
     
    ***
     
    I paid the pizza delivery girl and took the boxes to the back room. Foster was camped out on the top box before I made it three steps from the front door.
    “Which one’s mine?” he said.
    “The top one. Dammit, you know me too well.”
    He grinned and flew to the grandfather clock as we cleared the saloon-style doors. “Just set it down on the bottom shelf will you?”
    I put the three boxes on the table, then opened the top one and slid it into the grandfather clock. A swarm of fairies, several I didn’t recognize, descended on