Free Goodnight Tweetheart by Teresa Medeiros Page B

you. What did you say?
    Abby_Donovan: Just random observations: A day without cat hair in your coffee is like … a day without cat hair in your coffee.
    Abby_Donovan: Don’t they know that food really IS love?
    Abby_Donovan: Do people who pee in the shower think they’re multitasking?
    MarkBaynard: Well, now that you mention it …
    Abby_Donovan: Is there anyone who HASN’T made a sex tape with Pam Anderson?
    MarkBaynard: Well, now that you mention it, there was that night in Rio …
    Abby_Donovan: So where in the world is Mark Baynard today?
    MarkBaynard: VIEW FROM MY iPHONE: http://twitphoto.com/MB7stg
    Abby_Donovan: You finally made it to Florence, Alabama! Tell me what you’re doing so I can live vicariously through you.
    MarkBaynard: Sitting in front of the Neptune Fountain at the Piazza della Signoria, listening to the bells of San Miniato chime the hour.
    Abby_Donovan: Sigh … I’m sitting in front of a cold bowl of oatmeal, listening to Buffy the Mouse Slayer cough up a hair ball on my carpet.
    MarkBaynard: So how is the writing going today?
    Abby_Donovan: VIEW FROM MY LAPTOP: http://tweetpic.com/2825190611
    MarkBaynard: Should I ask why you have a stuffed gorilla climbing over the back of your computer? Or why you have a stuffed gorilla?
    Abby_Donovan: I’m hoping he’ll carry me away to the top of the Empire State Building if I don’t agree to become his bride.
    MarkBaynard: Another bad writing day?
    Abby_Donovan: It’s shaping up to be a 2 frappucino day. One for a.m. of boundless optimism. One for p.m. of utter despair.
    MarkBaynard: Have you thought about supplementing your writing income with an endorsement deal from Starbucks?
    Abby_Donovan: Edgar Allan Poe had his opium and I have my frappucinos. Such is the plight of the tortured artist.
    MarkBaynard: At least if you end up in the gutter like Poe, sympathetic gawkers can toss quarters into your little plastic cup.
    Abby_Donovan: Which I’ll probably use to buy more frappucinos.
    MarkBaynard: Maybe a second trip to Starbucks wouldn’t be a bad idea. You might need a change of scenery.
    Abby_Donovan: This morning I saw one of the cats out of the corner of my eye & started talking to it. Then I realized it was my house shoe.
    MarkBaynard: It’s worse if you don’t have a cat. And you just drank a pitcher of bellinis. So what have you written today?
    Abby_Donovan: Seven Facebook updates, a guest blog, and about 400 tweets.
    MarkBaynard: So roughly the equivalent of a long novella, right?
    Abby_Donovan: Yep. Except I didn’t get paid for any of it.
    MarkBaynard: No one will respect you if you’re giving it away for free.
    Abby_Donovan: That’s what Mama told me when I was in high school. I just don’t understand why I can’t get paid for tweeting.
    MarkBaynard: I could send you a dime for each Direct Message.
    Abby_Donovan: Make it a dollar and you’ve got a deal.
    MarkBaynard: You must be doing something right. I noticed you’re up to 666 Followers.
    Abby_Donovan: Should I be alarmed?
    MarkBaynard: Only if you start to hear the theme from THE OMEN in your head.
    Abby_Donovan: Do you think obsessive tweeting counts as a hobby or an addiction?
    MarkBaynard: A hobby. That’s what I used to tell myself about THE LEGEND OF ZELDA after I’d been playing for 37 hours without food or sleep.
    Abby_Donovan: Sometimes I think I can’t write because the Internet is smothering my brain with minutiae. Did you know it was Cankle Awareness Month?
    MarkBaynard: What in the hell is a cankle? Is it contagious? Sexually transmitted?
    Abby_Donovan: It’s what happens when your ankle disappears beneath a layer of fat and your calf looks like it’s attached directly to your foot.
    MarkBaynard: I’m so glad to see attention being brought to such a dreaded medical condition. Is there a foundation I can donate to?
    Abby_Donovan: You wouldn’t be laughing if YOU had them.
    MarkBaynard: Oddly enough, I think I would. So what prompted you to become a writer in the