Free A Desire So Deadly by Suzanne Young Page A

beach has picked up, and I imagine my parents are worried about me. I’ll have to go home and face them, knowing I’m not who they think I am. Knowing I haven’t always been their only daughter. But like I learned last time, the memories feel real—so to me, they’re still Mom and Dad.
    “You know I love her, right?” I say to Harlin, my heart aching. “I love Lucy. I don’t know if I can send her away.”
    Harlin lowers his eyes and takes my fingers in his. “I know. And to be perfectly honest, if it means losing you, I don’t want you to extinguish her either. There has to be another way. The universe has always underestimated you.”
    “Do you have any ideas?” He starts to answer, but I cut him off. “Other than running away together.”
    “Then no.” He’s not apologetic. Harlin is never sorry for how much he loves me. “But if Monroe was here,” he says, “I’m sure he’d tell you to think of the greater good. He was an asshole that way.”
    I smile. “I had a dream about him last night. He said something eerily similar to that. The way I see it, the advantage we have right now is that Lucy doesn’t know I remember yet. She still thinks I’m just Claire. So maybe I can talk to her. She’s my sister—”
    “You know she’s not your sister anymore,” Harlin says gently, even though his words are awful. “And it’s my fault too; I failed as her Seer. But Claire, she’s no longer in control of her impulses. That night at the beach, she almost drowned that girl. Told her to go in the water. Why? Because that’s what Shadows do. They wreak havoc and cause misery and pain. And whatever went down with your high-school boyfriend, you can bet that was due to her too.” Harlin’s jaw hardens when he mentions Ezra. It hadn’t occurred to me until now how difficult it must have been for him to see me with someone else. Even though I love Harlin, my feelings for Ezra were—are—real. I can’t change that.
    “I’m sorry,” I say quietly. He gives me a look like I’m being an idiot.
    “It’s not your fault.” He shrugs. “I didn’t even punch him in the face, because it’s not his fault either.”
    I smile. “Like you’d ever hit anyone.”
    Harlin steps closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Enough about him. All I’m saying,” he goes on, “is that talking to Lucy isn’t going to be enough. She’s manipulative. She’s psychotic. Can we make her a deal? What does she want?”
    “Me,” I say. “She wants me to be a Shadow—which means I’ll be around forever, Harlin. But I’ll be evil. Obviously that’s not going to happen, but I don’t think she’ll give up either. Bringing me into the Shadows will validate her choice. She’ll have her family—a dysfunctional one, but a family nonetheless.”
    Harlin watches me for a long moment. “Can you do it?” he asks. “Can you really destroy your sister?”
    “I don’t know. But I’m not sure I have another choice.”
    Harlin hugs me, resting his cheek on the top of my head. We sway, standing together at my father’s car. “Have you been having Needs?” he asks quietly.
    “Yeah. Two of them.”
    He looks down. “Already? That’s quick.”
    “I’m stronger,” I say. “How about you? Have you helped any Forgotten lately?”
    He shakes his head. “Nope. After Arizona, I haven’t seen any Forgotten other than you. Maybe you’re the only one left.”
    “Yeah, no pressure,” I say, taking a step back. I zip up the front of my wet suit all the way and reach for the car-door handle. “I need to go home and change. Then I’ll call Lucy, see if I can get her to meet me here tonight.”
    Harlin nods, glancing around like he’s scoping the place out. He probably won’t leave. He’ll want to make sure Lucy doesn’t show up early to ambush me. I lean to give him one last kiss and then get in the car. I don’t know how I’m going to lure my sister out, how I’ll fake not knowing who she is. But despite