moved
slowly, he did manage to trap that hand against an already stubbled jaw.
“Going to live, big guy?”
Xander blinked sleepily at him and smiled. He wasn"t sure what
was in his smile, but Chris"s bemused smile suddenly became darker,
intense, and Chris claimed his mouth hard, and a little bit desperately.
They were both sweating and sticky, and covered in lube and come, but
Chris opened his mouth and mashed that clean, hairless, muscled chest
against Xander"s, and Xander engulfed him in a deep, shivering kiss.
They didn"t necessarily pull away so much as fall apart, lulled by soft
pillows and the threat of sleep.
“That felt amazing, Xander. Do you trust me enough to do that to
you?”
Xander was too sleepy, too replete to freak out about trust. All he
knew was that Chris had trusted him, and what they"d just done… it had
been amazing. Glorious. Beautiful. He owed Chris.
“Yeah,” he said, without thinking about it. “Tomorrow. After we
go surfing.” Because the hotel was right across from the beach, and
surfboard rentals. They"d planned to be there for three days, just to go
surfing, because the sea was crystal blue and the sky was, too, and the
idea of being free inside that world of blue had made them howl and
laugh and roll down the windows for most of the trip down Highway 1.
Chris laughed softly, and pressed his hand next to Xander"s jaw
again. Xander seized it and kissed it as he closed his eyes. “I didn"t need
a date and a time, Xan—just an affirmation.”
Xan fluttered his eyes open, and saw a brief breath of something
like worry or anxiousness pass over Chris"s face. He didn"t understand it
then. As they grew, as their education progressed, and the full weight of
their careers landed on their shoulders like a clanging anvil, he would
understand it, but now, he assuaged it with all he had.
Years later, it was still the only bandage he had.
“Love you, Chris. You know that, right?”
That anxiousness eased, and Xander felt the top sheet and
comforter pulled up around his waist, and then Chris settled into his
arms. “I love you back, Xan. Don"t forget it, ever, okay?”
“Mmm… "kay.”
The Locker Room
53
THEY surfed the next day. They surfed until their bones turned to
overcooked macaroni and their muscles turned to melted cheese, and all
they could do when they trudged back to their hotel under a sky of
velveteen black was shove some salami in pieces of French bread and
eat, and then pass the carton of milk back and forth until it was gone.
They managed a shower and then fell asleep limply on top of each
other, like jungle cats in the heat, and woke up with the sun pouring
down on them from the skylight.
They were both wearing underwear, and that was it, but Xander"s
stomach was nearly howling with hunger, so they kissed briefly then
dressed and went out for breakfast.
When they got back, they looked at each other in confusion.
“Sex or surfing?” Chris asked, putting his thumb on it exactly, and
Xander gave a crooked grin.
“Sex in the morning, surfing in the afternoon?”
Chris shook his head and grinned back. “Surfing in the morning,
because once we hit the sheets, I don"t think we"re going to stop.”
And so it was. Chris didn"t push to top that night, nor the next, nor
even for the rest of the road trip. He just… explored. Used the lubricant
and tested the boundaries, stretched, stroked, made Xander come. It took
Xander a week to figure out that he"d taken Christian, possessed him,
pinned him to the mattress with a hand spanning between his shoulder
blades, or one giddy time, with Chris"s thighs over his shoulders, and
one of his inhumanly large, attenuated hands pressed at the base of
Chris"s throat, in the center of his chest, and Chris hadn"t taken him like
that yet, not completely, not at all.
It was after that moment face to face, somewhere in Oklahoma,
where the air conditioner had broken down completely, and they