Free Aspen by Rebekah Crane Page B

lipstick, and proceeds to the bathroom. I wait for her to shut the door behind her, but she doesn’t. Suzy pulls down her pants and plops herself onto the toilet seat, making an “ahh” sound as she pees. “I had to break the seal,” she explains. “My bladder was about to explode.”
    She sits with her pants around her ankles on the toilet as I walk around the room like a caged animal. It was easier to be outside at the party. I could hide on the fringe and pretend all this wasn’t really happening. But being in Suzy’s room is like entering the fifth dimension of popularity.
    I look through the makeup sitting out on her dresser. She has every color of eye shadow in the rainbow. I pick up a pink lipstick and hold it to my face. Then I notice the picture stuffed into the corner of the mirror.
    Katelyn sits next to Suzy, her head resting on Suzy’s shoulder, a smile on her face. Not a big smile, just a closed-mouthed one, the kind people who hate their teeth make. Katelyn’s knees are pulled up to her chest; she’s wearing dark jeans and a Boulder soccer shirt. Suzy’s leaning her head on Katelyn’s. They look like models from Seventeen magazine. Ninny’s never even shown me how to put on Chapstick. Unable to stop myself, I pick up the picture.
    “She was beautiful.” Suzy rests her elbows on her bare knees as she sits on the toilet.
    I nod, my eyes unable to move from the picture. Katelyn looks so alive.
    “What was she like?” I ask. As I hold the picture, my stomach gets tight.
    Suzy washes her hands and says, “She could be . . . I don’t know . . . like really fun. Like the best drunk of your life.” She dries them on one of the pristine white towels in the bathroom. She stumbles toward me and looks down at the picture in my hand. “That’s my favorite,” she says, pointing at their faces. “We both look hot in it.”
    I nod, once again fixated on the girl in the picture. I try to see the fun.
    “It’s still strange that I’ll never see her again.” Suzy sways to the side. “My parents keep saying that I’ll see her when I get to heaven. Do you believe in heaven?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “I think my parents are full of shit. They just want to make me feel better.”
    “That’s probably true.”
    She takes a sip out of her cup. “Katelyn’s not in heaven.”
    “Was she a virgin?” I bite my lip, pissed I let the words slip. Suzy’s feet stop, but her body moves forward a bit, like she might fall over.
    “What?”
    “I just overheard some girls . . . ” I stumble over the words in my head. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have asked.”
    “No, wait.” Suzy grabs my arm. “What did you hear?”
    “Nothing.”
    Just then the door flies open and Olivia Torres stumbles into Suzy’s room.
    “There you are.” Olivia holds onto the door. Her long black hair falls over her shoulders, resting against the royal blue sleeveless shirt she’s wearing. Her brown eyes are glazed over as she looks at Suzy and then me. “What are you doing here?”
    “Suzy invited me,” I say, quickly. My stomach turns in on itself as I stand in Suzy’s room with Katelyn’s two best friends.
    “Oh,” Olivia says, still keeping herself steady on the doorknob. “I was coming to tell Suzy that we’re gonna do a shot for Katelyn.”
    Suzy’s seriousness melts in an instant, and she says, “I love shots.”
    “Katelyn loved shots.” Olivia’s voice wobbles and her bottom lip quivers, but her eyes don’t leave me. It’s almost like she can sense the guilt seeping out of my pores.
    “Don’t start, Liv, or I’ll start.” Suzy meets her at the door, wrapping her arms around Olivia’s neck. They both start crying.
    “I just can’t believe she’s not here,” Olivia says into Suzy’s shoulder.
    I look down at the picture in my hand. Katelyn belongs here, with her pretty face and shiny hair and shots, with her best friends. Tears prickle my eyes and the picture in my hand starts to shake. When it