Free Magic for Beginners: Stories by Kelly Link Page A

ring. Or a. Or. It was a.
She couldn’t wait to show Carleton. Her arm was inside the rabbit
all the way to her shoulder. Someone put their little cold hand
around her wrist and yanked. Somewhere her mother was talking. She
said—
    “It’s the beard.”
    Catherine couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry or scream like
Carleton. That would surprise Carleton, if she started screaming
too. “Shoo! Shoo, Henry—go shave and come back as quick as you can,
or else he’ll never go back to sleep.”
    “Carleton, honey,” she was saying as Henry left the room. “It’s
your dad. It’s not Santa Claus. It’s not the big bad wolf. It’s
your dad. Your dad just forgot. Why don’t you tell me a story? Or
do you want to go watch your daddy shave?”
    Catherine’s hot water bottle was draped over the tub. Towels
were heaped on the floor. Henry’s things had been put away behind
the mirror. It made him feel tired, thinking of all the other
things that still had to be put away. He washed his hands, then
looked at the bar of soap. It didn’t feel right. He put it back on
the sink, bent over and sniffed it and then tore off a piece of
toilet paper, used the toilet paper to pick up the soap. He threw
it in the trash and unwrapped a new bar of soap. There was nothing
wrong with the new soap. There was nothing wrong with the old soap
either. He was just tired. He washed his hands and lathered up his
face, shaved off his beard and watched the little bristles of hair
wash down the sink. When he went to show Carleton his brand-new
face, Catherine was curled up in bed beside Carleton. They were
both asleep. They were still asleep when he left the house at 5:30
the next morning.
     
    “Where are you?” Catherine said.
    “I’m on my way home. I’m on the train.” The train was still in
the station. They would be leaving any minute. They had been
leaving any minute for the last hour or so, and before that, they
had had to get off the train twice, and then back on again. They
had been assured there was nothing to worry about. There was no
bomb threat. There was no bomb. The delay was only temporary. The
people on the train looked at each other, trying to seem as if they
were not looking. Everyone had their cell phones out.
    “The rabbits are out on the lawn again,” Catherine said. “There
must be at least fifty or sixty. I’ve never counted rabbits before.
Tilly keeps trying to go outside to make friends with them, but as
soon as she’s outside, they all go bouncing away like beach balls.
I talked to a lawn specialist today. He says we need to do
something about it, which is what Liz was saying. Rabbits can be a
big problem out here. They’ve probably got tunnels and warrens all
through the yard. It could be a problem. Like living on top of a
sinkhole. But Tilly is never going to forgive us. She knows
something’s up. She says she doesn’t want a dog anymore. It would
scare away the rabbits. Do you think we should get a dog?”
    “So what do they do? Put out poison? Dig up the yard?” Henry
said. The man in the seat in front of him got up. He took his bags
out of the luggage rack and left the train. Everyone watched him
go, pretending they were not.
    “He was telling me they have these devices, kind of like
ultrasound equipment. They plot out the tunnels, close them up, and
then gas the rabbits. It sounds gruesome,” Catherine said. “And
this kid, this baby has been kicking the daylights out of me. All
day long it’s kick, kick, jump, kick, like some kind of martial
artist. He’s going to be an angry kid, Henry. Just like his sister.
Her sister. Or maybe I’m going to give birth to rabbits.”
    “As long as they have your eyes and my chin,” Henry said.
    “I’ve gotta go,” Catherine said. “I have to pee again. All day
long it’s the kid jumping, me peeing, Tilly getting her heart
broken because she can’t make friends with the rabbits, me worrying
because she doesn’t want to make friends with other