Free Finding Solace by Barbara Speak Page B

I couldn't sleep last night after seeing you. When you and Heather
left, Dave and Bryan came back to my place. There was no point for me to go in
to see Shawn if they weren’t letting anybody. So I asked if they wanted to go
have a beer. They filled me in on what happened and I feel awful that I wasn't
there for you."
      There for
me? What was he talking about? And let’s go back four conversations ago and
address the grand central station comment.
      "What
did you mean about grand central station?"
      "Wow,
way to deflect that one! What I meant was , I thought
you and Heather would still be asleep. I didn't expect Jason to be here this
early."
      "Jason's
here?" That one came out with a big smile.
      "Don't
go getting your hopes up on that one, beautiful. Those were some pretty sad
faces I had to walk past."
      "I
can't imagine after last night they would be anything else, but it’s still a
start."
      "True.
Now, back to me being here for you now because I wasn't last night?"
      "What
are you really talking about, Colt, because I'm a big girl? Before I met you I
didn't have you to be here for me, so why wouldn’t I be okay now?"
      "You
didn't have me then, but you do have me now. That is the point."
      "I
don't get you. How do you think you can be here for me? Or am I missing the how
to be a good friend bus? Jason and Shawn are your friends too. This all
happened to you also. Are you saying I need to be here for you? Do you need me,
because I am here if you do?”
      "Listen
here, beautiful, I'm always going to need you. Maybe I was just hoping you
needed me a little too."
      I wasn't
sure how to respond. The last night we spent together was coming back to me.
What I needed was that Colt. Not the
one who didn't talk to me for over a week and was sleeping with some girl named
Shelly. I just do not know what to say.
      "Sadie.
Why are you getting quiet on me? Did I say something to upset you?"
      It’s like he
was goading me to admit I was upset about his part in last night. Not going to
happen. So I turned on the charm.
      I removed
the towel from my hair. Then I walked over to the opposite side of the bed, let
my towel fall a little loose and seductively crawled over to his side of the
bed. I rolled so I was lying on my back. Then I looked up at him and said,
"Why would I be upset?"
      "Are
you doing this on purpose?" He said as he lay down next to me.
      "Doing
what? I'm just tired" I stretched out and the towel slipped lower. “I
didn't get much sleep last night." Colt moved closer to me so we were
right next to each other. He rolled onto his side so we were face to face.
"Can we snuggle?"
      "Are
you tired too?"
      Colt raised
his arm so he could get to my hair. He played with it, running his fingers
through it like a comb. I just closed my eyes and let him. I think I started to
fall asleep when I heard him say, "Are you sleeping?"
      I am not
sure why I did not answer him. Or why I apparently wanted him to think I was
asleep. He was quiet for a while and then he said, "If only things could
be different. God, I'd make you mine."
        He pulled me closer and spun me around so he
could spoon me. I continued to stay quiet until I really did fall asleep. Being
held in his arms always did make for the best sleep.
      I woke up
and Colt was gone. It was incredible how his smell lingered on my sheets and
pillow. I rolled around breathing it all in. I wished he was still here, but I
have a faint memory of him kissing my forehead and telling me he had to go.
      I got up and
went downstairs to see if it was safe to get some breakfast. The house was
empty. I knew Heather had to work today. I just wasn't sure if she would call
in sick or not. I looked out the window and her car was gone, so I could only
assume she went in. I went straight for the Cap’n Crunch, my favorite cereal. What should I do for the rest of the day? I decided
I owed it to myself to do nothing. So I sat down on the couch and ordered