Free Look After Me by Elena Matthews Page B

horror when I saw everybody wearing jeans and sweatshirts.”
    “Well, it seems we both made an ass of ourselves this evening.”
    “You do realize you swore again, right?” I smile.
    “I think I’m going to cut my losses and get out of here before I find myself trapped in the barrens of Hell. ” Once she downs her entire water, we make our way out of the church and onto the sidewalk, welcomed by the Seattle night sky.
    “Where are you headed?” I ask as we stand idly at the bottom of the church steps.
    “I’m just going home.”
    “And where might home be?”
    “A couple of blocks away.”
    “Lead the way. I’ll walk you there.”
    “What? You don’t have to do that.”
    “Look, I may have sworn off women for the rest of my life, but there is still some gentleman left inside of me. I can’t just let you walk home alone. There are some fucking monsters out there.” My mind automatically goes to him and the things he did to Ava. Then I quickly erase those thoughts from my mind, not wanting to think of Ava in any capacity. Today has unexpectedly been a good day and I’m not going to ruin it by thinking of her. I hold my arm out and Addison accepts it with a smile.
    “Well, what girl can refuse being escorted home by a veteran? You can use your military skills to keep the monsters away.”
    “I’ll keep a watch out.” I wink as we start to walk with her arm still linked around mine. I hate to admit it, but it feels nice. She’s a breath of fresh air, and it’s a comforting feeling. Just being around her makes everything seem brighter. I’ve smiled and laughed more this evening than I have in months.
    “I know you must get asked this all the time, so I apologize for the unoriginality in advance, especially after being bombarded with it this evening, but what’s it like in Afghanistan? Obviously I’ve seen how the media portrays it and to me it seems like the scariest place on earth.”
    “Well, it definitely isn’t what I described earlier to jackass, but the guy pissed me off, so I wanted to freak him out a little. That clearly backfired on me.” I smile. “I’m not going to lie—it’s really tough out there. During my three tours in Afghanistan, I witnessed things that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. How I came out without so much as a bullet wound, I have no idea. I’m a lucky son of a bitch, that’s for sure. To an outsider, it might seem scary as hell, but when you’re there, in the heat of things, it’s different, you know? You kind of embrace it. I signed up, knowing the dangers, but with the dangers also comes excitement, and being somewhat of an adrenaline junkie definitely worked to my advantage. It made me feel almost invincible out there, and that helped to keep my emotions at bay.”
    I glance down at Addison. Her eyes are wide with wonderment. “Wow, your strength is incredible. I couldn’t do that—just turn my emotions off by a switch, I mean.”
    “It was automatic. You didn’t think, you just got on with things. By keeping my emotions in check, I was able to block out the terrors those three grueling tours brought. I was totally unfazed by the things I had witnessed. My strength is what kept me alive. It was only when I came home, that my strength turned into a weakness.” I give out a short, humorless laugh. “And the one thing that broke me wasn’t from the shit I witnessed in war but a woman. One woman. How fucking ironic?”
    “You left the military for her?” Addison asks sadly.
    “Well, for my family. I wanted to give them a life they deserved. A life I was part of.”
    Addison is quiet for a moment before she says, “I’m so sorry, Sebastian. But for what it’s worth you’re not weak. You’re just human.”
    An awkward silence covers us as my mood turns sour. Thoughts of Ava drift to the forefront of my mind. Talking about the military has reminded me of everything I gave up for her and how all of that got thrown back in my face.
    “I’m